Category Archives: Collin and Jade chapters

This is the novel i am still writing, i love feedback i haven’t done almost any editing on it.

Working Toward Happyness

I have gone through some things this week that I do not want to publicly announce, I hope you can understand that and if you want to know what is going on just ask me in person. (Unless this is me Rachel reading it in a year becuase if I no longer remember I can’t tell myself.) Today is my half birthday that wonderful time in the dead smack middle of 19 years old six months in six months to go. I have to really take advantage of this last six months of being a teenager and that is where we get into the fun stuff.

I want to thank my Aunt Merrie for going above and beyond her family duties by sending me a printer, bracelet and nail polish things I will use all the time but would not have bought for myself.

To Kyle and Jen for reading my blog and telling me.

To my sigma alpha sisters who have helped me plan rush

And to the people that keep me sane (this list is really long so if you think you help me there is a very high chance that you have and do.)

I have started this lifelong challenge to take a one second video every day for the rest of my life. It is not a selfie style thing but rather a me POV so today it was snowing and I captured one second of it.

Some funny things have happened I have been getting phone calls from family, the computer place and the school for a variety of things.

I am currently and for a long time will be working on figuring out what will make me happy and what is making it impossible for me to be happy and with that doing more of the positive and trying to eliminate the negative. For example at this time I have decided to take a break from learning the states and capitals but i’d say we could still be friends, the map will stay close to me.

On that note I have decided I want to reduce my face book usage by as much as possible so I will still use messenger but as for the actual site I will be on no longer than 10 minutes a day. This will be difficult but I believe in myself enough to do it I stopped playing candy crush and feel so much better for it.

That feels like I told you so much but now by popular request chapter 7 of Collin and Jade. (thank you Kyle for reading this really ruff draft. I am gonna warn you it gets so much worse because I didn’t know where it was going nor did I edit anything past page 40.)

Chapter 7 Jade

“Thank you for the ride Mrs. Norbert.” Becca is being super nice because she is around my mom but she should know better. My mom is super cool; not the kind of adult you feel nervous around and suck up to.

“Becca how many times to I have to tell you are no longer in grade school, you can call me Sarah.” See what I mean about my mom being cool.

“Sorry Sarah it’s a force of habit to call my friends parents by their last names. But I will try to remember to call you Sarah.” We all know that will not happen she has been reminded of this a few times a month ever since we graduated middle school.

“If you don’t I will have to start calling you Rebecca, and let’s see how you like that?” We are at a red light and my mom turns back to look Becca in the eye. It’s pretty funny that Becca is intimidated by my mom’s halfhearted name calling threat. I don’t think Becca would even respond to Rebecca just because she does not see it as her name even though it is.

“What were your plans for today?” Mom asks in a friendly way.

“We want to figure out if we still need to go Halloween shopping this weekend; oh on that note can you drive us to the mall on Saturday?”

“I can’t wait until you can drive yourself; being your choufer is getting real old Jade but yes, I can bring you two this weekend as long as we leave after one.” Mom rolls her eyes “Thanks for the warning girls.”

“We only thought of it today. And after one is fine with me.” Becca is really happy to hear we have our shopping day set up with my mom because if we had to use her mom we would not be looking sexy we would be covered and cute, not really what we (or at least what I) wanted.

“Yeah and we were thinking of reading Shakespeare lines tonight, we have a project for Lit.” I tell decide to announce to the car.

“Sounds like you have a plan. Becca would you like to stay for dinner we are having a stir fry so the more the merrier.”

“I will have to double check with my mom but that would be really great thank you Sarah.”

My mom pulls into the drive way and we all get out, I live in a beautiful old brick house, with black shutters, white columns and multiple chimneys that we never use. The house has been recognizes as historical and I find it pretty cool that I get to live in a piece of history. So many of the family’s Connecticut live in lookalike newly built developments. I appreciate and love the fact that I get to be different. There are trees to hide the house from unwanted eyes but in a few weeks they will lose all of their leaves and the camouflage purpose will no longer exist. Some of the leaves are still green but some have started to change to yellow and red. I love fall so much. The red leaves look truly beautiful against the brick exterior of my house.

My mom opens the black door with her keys that have the cutest keep sakes. For my parent’s one year anniversary of dating dad took mom out to a nice restaurant for dinner and at the end of the night there was flowers of course but also a small key chain. It was half of a heart with a magnet on the torn part. My father explained that separately he was only half a person but together when together he would be whole again. This was my dad’s way of giving her his heart. And to this day they both keep the silver magnetic heart key chains on their house keys. The house is where the heart is so they have that organized together. There is some perfect match for everyone in the world the hard part is finding them, my parents were just lucky to find each other so quickly and know so fast.

“Girls go upstairs and play dress up, if you want to look through my clothes too just ask and I will see what I can do for you. If you want to do homework in the den that is also an option, if you need me just holler.”

“K Mom. See you at dinner.” I tell her as running up the stairs two at a time.

“Or sooner my beautiful girls.” Mom is headed in the opposite direction; she knows we are barely listening to her anymore.

I had some ideas of what Becca should try on first. I shuffle through my skirt draw until I get to the back and see what I am looking for, it’s a blue plaid skirt that I wore a few years ago and it was so cute. Then I filled out and well it was too small to get over my thighs but if it fits Becca it would be perfect. I throw Becca the garment of clothing. “Try this on.”

Becca gets out of her work out shorts and easily slips into the skirt. “How do I look?” she gives a tight little twirl, as if wobbling on heals even though she is barefooted.

“Scandalous, it’s perfect and yours.” I will never fit into it ever again any how so I might as well let Becca keep the super cute and short skirt, every girl needs a few of those sexy pieces.

“I can’t my mom would kill me if she ever found it.” Becca wiggles out of the skirt and holds it in her hand. “You know she is nowhere near as cool as your mom.” That is true but my mom is a true blessing and not like most parental figures. I think that is because she is still young compared to most of my friend’s parents she is easily five or more years younger.

“Fine I will bring it to school on Halloween and you can change into it there. Do you want to look for anything else? We are just going to have to get fish net high stockings over the weekend I don’t have any. And we already have button downs and then our blazers so costume made.”

“What are you going to put on?” Becca is nervous to hear me tell her what I’ve got planned for me.

“I am not going to leave you hanging Bec,” I dig around the draw some more until I find a skirt very similar to the one Becca tried on, the difference is in shape, it hugs my hips and then puffs out a bit but it is still super short, barely covers my booty.

“That looks far more respectable,” Becca drops the skirt in her hand to the floor, “I don’t want to wear that.” she says eyeing the blue swatch of fabric on the floor with disgust as if it were a dead animal.

“You don’t have to, I will not force you to do anything I hope you realize that. And by the way I love the skirt you just disrespected.” I pick up the skirt from the floor with the care you would give to an injured bird or a baby “Sorry skirt, Becca didn’t mean to kill your spirit. Be happy you got worn at all because unless you grow a whole lot I am never going to see you on my body ever again.”

We both laugh, that was enough to break the awkwardness and I am glad. I do not mind making a fool of myself in front of Becca she’s seen it before and will definitely see me like that again. I feel extremely comfortable around her. I flop down on my bed messing up the tucked in bedding. I have white sheets with lace and pink bows on the comforter. My bed is far girlier than I would like but I do not complain about it out loud. My mom chose my sheets as a gift, she said they were princess sheets for my queen sized bed. So for my mom’s sake I do not bring it up. And almost no one sees my bed any way so it’s not like they have to impress anybody.

“You may want to put on some pants before you sit on anything, my bed especially.” I tell Becca with a smile and we break into another round of laughter.

Becca puts on pants and we sit on my bed reading the tempest using different voices and accents for each character. It’s a real blast reading medieval writing in modern day Boston and valley girl accents. It’ sad when dinner is called and before we knew it, it was time for my mom to drive Becca home for the night, it also means time for me to go to sleep. Before I know it I will wake up and it will be Friday. I lay under the frilly comforter and close my eyes; that is all I remember.

iphone 5 059I will post again in a week if not sooner, cause you know this is only a one Thursday a week kind of blog right now.

Collin and Jade chap 6

MY shift keys still do not work and because I really do not want to capitalize everything with the cap lock and avoid questions here is a collin and jade chapter.

Chapter 6 Collin

I’m walking home with Brandon and Chris; I have nothing to tell them so I am just listening to their conversation. But my mind is busy and so I am not even being a very good listener. Brandon is discussing a plan for Halloween this year but I really could not care less. I was planning to be a nerd for the school day and then be a chick for the night. That’s what I did last year and it was pretty funny. I painted my nails pink stuffed one of my mom’s bras with oranges and borrowed an old outfit of hers. I looked like a slutty drag queen and I had a good night going door to door collecting candy with Brandon and Chris.

I live only a block and a half away from school so I can see my house already. If I wanted to I could go home for lunch but I try not to. If my mom sees me she will smother me and that would take far too much time out of my lunch hour. I live in a newly renovated home in Tariffville Village, Simsbury, Connecticut. It is the same size as most of my neighbors in our cookie cutter condos, but don’t get me wrong it is a very nice house. We painted it a light brown last fall with white shutters. There are solar panels on the gray slanted roof and a full two car parking garage. It was interiorly redone but the outside is as generic as everyone else but what’s on the inside is what really matters. We have one and a half bathrooms that have beautiful mosaic tiles that fit together into flowers. I got to choose what color to paint my room and I decided to make it two toned it’s a light blue on the two walls that are seen when you look into the room while passing it in the hallway but then dark blue on the other two sides. I set up the constellations on the celling which is white. I love that the stars glow in the dark, I feel so much closer to the universe being engulfed in the light and the dark of the sky with the twinkling stars watching me while I sleep.

`“See you guys tomorrow.” I don’t even listen to hear if I was intruding on one of them talking. I am in my own world as I cut across the yard and mindlessly pull my key from my backpack. I unlock the white door in a smooth motion and shout out. “Hey mom, I’m home.”

“I am in the kitchen baby, come give your mama a hug and a kiss.” I can’t see her from where I am in the hall but I can clearly imagine her waving her arms around spatula in hand.

“What’s for dinner?” I give her a hug and she gives me a kiss on the cheek.  Mom normally does not start dinner until later. And I know she is in full on cooking mode because she has on her kiss the chef apron and the kitchen is a complete mess. My mom has always been that kind of person who insists that she finds organization under the clutter.

“I am trying something new, it’s a surprise though, and I hope you have an appetite. It should be good. I have spent most of the day looking up recipes in the computer room and working in the kitchen.”

“Mom is there a special occasion I am forgetting about?” I know it’s not a birthday but there could be an anniversary and I would feel really bad for forgetting it, I only have one set of parents I should be able to remember when they got married and get them a mug or something; they do so much for me.

“Well yes darling it’s an important day for your father; he has a huge project that may determine whether or not he gets the promotion.”  Mom does not work a conventional job; she actually did most of the artistic renovations on the house. She painted, and tiled for months until all of those renovations were complete. Now for lack of work she tends to the garden and is dabbling in cooking. We have a beautiful lawn and I am afraid that I will put on a few pounds as her meals become more gourmets.

“I hope he gets it then.” I say going to the cabinet to get a glass for my after school juice break.

“I am torn, it would be nice to have more money but the promotion may mean we have less time with him.” She whips the ingredients in the bowl a bit hardernow.

That is a good point I hadn’t really considered it that way. I see him rarely enough already just dinner and the weekends. So much of the time when he is around he is not really here. Mom used to tell me that it was okay because he worked very hard so I should just give him his space. But now that I am older the same thing applies yet I feel less sympathetic than before. Everyone is busy that does not mean that we can always go around demanding to be left alone. I don’t really understand what my mom saw in my dad he doesn’t seem like the type of person who she’d want to grow old with. I am an only child because my parents had a hard time having kids at all so I was somewhat of a miracle. It’s probably good for her sake that I am the only child she has to raise, if she had to balance another child she would have to lose a lot of her hobbies and those seem to be what she lives for.

“I am going to go up to my room and start chipping away at Mt. homework, call me down for this special dinner of yours.” I think about telling her about my day but decide against it because she will inevitably ask me during dinner so dad can hear the story too. That way he can feel involved in my life even though I know he’s not. I feel like my father knows nothing about me. That is the way things work out for some kids, they have a father that is financially supporting and physically around you but not there for you on a deeper level. If I talked to a shrink they would most likely tell me I have a daddy complex but I have not gone through any of that so it’s all just theories in my head.

“You have some time. Take the cranberry juice and go work, leave me to the kitchen and I will get you when it’s ready.”

“Thanks mom.”

“Collin dinner’s ready.”

I leave my math text book open on my desk. I will have to return to that after dinner. I had so much homework and the time to do it seems to be slipping away too quickly. I am now realizing how hungry I am so it’s good that the food is ready. I can’t tell what it is exactly but I think I smell bacon.

I get to tell mom and dad about my day even though it seems fairly uneventful compared to what dad’s day should have been like. Just as expected dad just nods occasionally with no real contributing to the conversation. If he were to listen and to know me I am not sure he would be all that supportive of my possible athletic streak. It may not be what I had planned to do but maybe I can make him proud of me for once. Or at least get him to notice that I am doing something that is beneficial to my wellbeing. Right now it feels like he can’t even see what is going on around him or hear what I am saying. The worst part is that after mom slaved over the oven all day to cook such a wonderful meal of feta cheese and bacon stuffed chicken breast (which is delicious) he does not even mention any part of it. At this point in my life I hope to have none of my father’s negative traits because he is not the kind of person I want to be.

“Mom you really out did yourself tonight I hope everyone at the table realizes that.” I semi subtly bring up that dad should be praising his wife and her cooking.

“It’s really not that hard thanks to online recipes but thank you for noticing, it means a lot Collin. I thought it would be nice to do something new, it sounds like there may be a lot of new things in store for the family.” My mom says it cryptically but I feel like it is just her way of asking if dad got the promotion.

“Betty I got the promotion if you must know but I really do not like the way you two talk about me behind my back. If I want to tell you something I will in my own sweet time, don’t push me.” Dad seems really angry. He puts down his silverware and excuses himself from the dinner table.

“May I be excused?” I stand up before getting an answer.

“Collin, please sit down.” My mother says in a very assertive tone so I do as I am told. “You should not upset your father he had a long day and just needs his space. Though I should have known better than to pry, this is not all your fault. We are both liable for his outburst. Just because he stormed off does not mean you should follow him.”

“I wasn’t going to follow him; I was going to get back to homework. I thought dinner was pretty much over.” That is about eighty percent true, there was a small part of me that considered following my dad but then common sense kicked in and I decided against it.

“In that case you may be excused, just clear your plate first.”

“Can do mom.” I scrape the small amount of leftovers into the trash and put my plate in the dishwasher. There seems to be more food than we actually would eat. I dip my head into the dining room “Mom did you have plans for the left overs?”

“No, I had to make what the recipe called for so there is an extra serving that will probably go to waste.” Her voice is shaky like she is holding back tears.

“Can I wrap it up for my lunch tomorrow?” I am just trying to be helpful and score some more than my fair share of her cooking.

Mom nods and gives takes a big breath in, I can hear the conjestion in her nose being faught against. “If you want to go right ahead but please do it quickly I would like some alone time in the kitchen.”

“Alright mom I will be out quick as a jaguar.” I don’t even care that my expression is not a real one. Mom needs her space I can tell because she communicated it to me and has a reason to be upset. It’s a good thing that she has calming hobbies because otherwise I don’t know if she would be able to stay in the marriage the way it is.  I think she is going to bake something sweet. That will be a nice way to accompany my very fancy Friday lunch. Tomorrow will need to go better than today not really for my sake but for my parent’s. “The kitchen is all yours now mom.” I go up to my room for then night and do not hear either of them say a word.

iphone3 057THANKS FOR READING

Langue Curses and Other Words

Quick disclaimers I put this post together quickly because I have to go do the ice bucket challenge and WordPress is updated to something I am not familiar with.

Swear words
So I personally do not curse but that does not mean I do not write characters that never curse. I don’t have high expectations for this post I am tossing it together quickly and for that reason it’s a short lesson on writing that I am nowhere near qualified enough to write followed by chapter five of Collin and Jade.
There is a line in the movie Dear John where Amanda Siegfried explains that she curses in her head but not aloud and I agree with that I have the same feeling but not at all times. I like that without using them they have more power for the slight off chance when I do. So for me to curse you out means I am really really really angry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXyEBolSsNY

At work I have people curse at me and coworkers all the time because they are drunk but I really dislike it when I hear children curse on the rides or just walking around or what not. We give the words we say power yet by saying them too often for anything from f you to I love you they start to loose meaning

When we as in people use our words too liberally they have no value quoting a lifehouse song “Talk is cheap give me your word you can keep”

Collin and Jade Chapter 5
JADE
I really hate that the Ultimate team has to share the quad with field hockey girls for practice. We are two very different sports. We are both super competitive and for some reason the coaches occasionally decide to make up warm up or even practice together. Today is one of those days which means I have to work extra hard to show them that Frisbee girls are just as good if not better than field hockey girls. Ultimate Frisbee is a relatively new sport here, it used to be a club and this is the first year it stepped up to full on varsity level sport. There is a bunch of debate over whether or not it will stay sanctioned as a varsity or be dropped back down to club. I know that most of us want to keep it varsity and are willing to put in the extra effort to keep things the way they are. If we lose Frisbee field hockey will be the main fall sport along with cheerleading and fall soccer. (None of those even come close to what I have right now with Ultimate.)
To me it seems silly to have a sport where the dress code is a skirt. Don’t get me wrong I love skirts but not for working out and running around hunched over. Also field hockey sticks are designed in a ridiculous manner that make you hunch over to play, I am not trying to mess up my posture over a high school activity. Ultimate is a game that was designed to be not for competition but for activity and now it has become both. I love that anyone can play not well but they can play. Our whole lives Frisbees have been handed out as promotional advertisements and as children I saw my Frisbee as a disk of joy that I would play with my dog Maxwell, a white terrier breed. For hours on end playing disk fetch making both of us feel better after a long day of whatever. Maxwell died a few years ago and I took it pretty hard so my family decided not to get another dog. I miss it though the companionship that a dog gives you is nothing like what you find with people no matter how hard you look. And it was funny the way Maxwell who was a fairly small dog had the personality of a giant, he would walk around like he could concord the world even though he had no chance, he could sit inside a full sized Frisbee comfortably. I love that about dogs they have a personality and are always there for you. I wish my parents had gotten me another dog it would have helped me with the empty feeling in my heart not dig another one when sed new dog died. And I would have been in college when that happened, but life is the way it so I no longer have a dog. Life goes on.
“Do your warm up run and then get in a stretch circle. Today is a drill day so make sure to have a good warm up, we wouldn’t want anyone getting a self-inflicted injury from being careless.” Coach Kelly who runs field hockey is conducting the practice today.
I find Becca and we fall into a running pair side by side we go around the quad. We have to do a full lap at a speed we can both maintain and be able to have a conversation. The beginning of the year is always killer because over the summer everyone gets a bit lazy and stops running the way we should. But after the first week or two your body accepts the challenge and allows you to run without getting sour or wanting to collapse. This is week six, if you still struggle with the run you are just all together not cut out to be on varsity and should consider doing more personal work outs. There are a few girls who can barely keep up and I hate that they don’t get cut from the team. I work so hard to be a starter on an empressive ultimate team; a fifteen hour a week commitment at the least for me. These lazy few girls are only putting in the bare minimum six hours that make them weakest links. Between practice and the gym every day on top of games and then the occasional fundraisers my participation in Frisbee keeps me (and Becca) busy. It would be easier to just take a gym class but this is so much more rewarding.
“Becca I will need you to make sure I don’t hit one of these girls, if they down talk Ultimate I just might need to cut a bitch.”
“Can you clean up your mouth Jade, that langue could get you a yellow card, in the game.” Becca warns me.
“Pardon me but that’s the proper expression for the situation; and I know but I just relly hate having to share this precious time with those slu…” I catch myself from calling the field hockey girls sluts but that is how I see them bending over in their skirts putting on a spectator sport for all the guys around. That give me an idea “For school Halloween do you want to come in as slutty school girls, we can still wear our blazers. Just imagine fishnet high socks, a micro mini plaid skirt and overly tight button down. Pink tails for our hair we can even put in ribbons.”
“You go for it but I am not sure I have any of that because I would not be allowed to leave the house like a slutty school girl,” Bec says condescendingly “my mom would make me change.”
“It’s okay Becca you can borrow something I have and change in the car or the bathroom at school if you really needed to.” I am a bit bigger than Becca but there is stuff in my closet that I have out grown for sure. I hate going through my clothes to donate them to charity I feel like I am depleting my wardrobe even though I would only give away things I never wear because they no longer fit me.
“I’ll think about it, I wasn’t planning on going to school dressed up but if you come in as a slut and feel that it would be better if I do it with you…” Sigh. “Then I guess I will. Can I come over after practice and pick through your clothes?” after the sigh her voice is deeper weighted with defeat.
“Yeah that will be fine my mom can pick both of us up. I don’t know if she can drive you home afterwards though. I will have to ask before I can promise you that one.”
“Okay first water break we’ll both text home me about going to your house and you about getting me a ride home. We don’t live that far apart so I can totally walk if I have to. Wanna sprint to the finish line?”
It’s not really a question we both break out into a sprint and are the first two to finish the warm up run. We go to our water and secretly text home. Then join the circle that is loosely forming for stretch. Coach Kelly is in the middle yelling for the last few to finish up; sadly they are Frisbee girls at the end of the line.
“Girls let’s all work to be more like Jade and Becca, especially my girls. Let’s start with a bicep stretch left over right.” Coach Kelly is yelling the directions at everyone but she looks right at me.
At the end of stretch a free time water break is announced Becca goes to check her phone and I am going in the same direction when someone taps me on the shoulder. I jump from being startled at the unexpected contact. And spin around to see Coach Kelly standing in front of me.
“What do you want?” My voice does not come out as confidently as I would have liked it to. I have nothing to fear; Kelly is not actually my coach she is only running my practice because Coach Lexi is not here today.
“I just wanted to talk to you about field hockey I feel you could really improve our team and make your mother proud at the same time.” My mom used to play field hockey in school back when we had a winning team. Most people don’t realize that my mom was a star field hockey girl. There is a picture of the team in the trophy case because they won the championship two years in a row. The coaches know my mom she does a lot for me and the school but in no way is she disappointed in me playing Frisbee. “For next year you should really think about switching. It will look better on a college resume you know that right.”
“I know that I love Frisbee and there is very little I can take credit for that I am good at and enjoy so I don’t think I will.” I sharply snap at Coach Kelly. “But thanks about looking out for my best interests.”
“Please just think about it Jade we could use you. Go get some water and get ready to continue practice.” The way Coach Kelly says that makes me feel like she will make this an extra hard practice today, I might have messed it up but I will not be playing field hockey I would rather join ice hockey which is just as far out of my comfort zone.
“Sorry for most likely making practice torturous but when I tell you the details you will totally understand why I did it.” That is all I can tell her for now, the explanation will have to happen on the car ride to my house.
Let’s just say I was right about making today a ruff practice but in no way do I regret what I said. Standing up for myself was worth making the team do suicides, stairs, and constant movement catching drills. Tomorrow I will have to tell Lexi that Kelly was trying to requite me away from her; that should be the last time I hear about it.

chapter 4

So I have been home for over a week now and already really want to get back to school and my college friends. but becuase i am currently in NJ that means that I get time to sleep in and stay up late reading books for fun and fill out job applications that will hopefully lead to me getting paid. i have some really cool things coming up in the next few weeks posts will be sure to follow. i may have to put up some polls to get opinions on what you guys want to see.

the post is chapter 4 of collin and jade this is the second Collin POV chapter if you do not know what i am talking about there is a catagory for this and it is the novel i started writing in November 2013.

Chapter 4 Collin

I have spent half the lunch hour looking all over for Jacob but he is completely nowhere to be found. I guess it was dumb of me to think that an upperclassman would stay on campus if they have a car and could go anywhere. It’s not a total waste of time though, at least now there will not be a line for the cafeteria food. I get to walk straight up to Betty the server who plopped a scoop of mash potatoes on my plate.

“Will that be enough for today?” Betty asks me in her scratchy smoker’s voice.

“More than enough thank you Betty.” I feel the need to be extra nice to her and all of the other cafeteria staff because they are not appreciated by most of the guys. The way I see it, without the lunch staff I would get really hungry every day so putting in the tiny bit of effort to recognize they exist really can go a far way.  Sometimes Betty will make an exception for me and give me a double serving of pudding or a nice big corner piece of cake. The icing is my favorite part so the corners are my favorite part especially if there is one of those edible roses on it.

“Would you like chicken patty or meat loaf?” Betty asks me from behind the counter. Her huskily built body moves down the line with me.

“What’s better today?” It really does not matter neither one is all that good.

“Meat loaf it is.” And with that I get a slab of random lunch meat placed down next to the mash potatoes.  “I realize it’s not a turkey dinner but I can give you cranberry jelly.”

“That sounds so good, I would love some cranberry jelly with my lunch feast.” I receive the full plate of lunch goodies and get a plastic fork and knife. It is not good silverware but it is what the school provides to us with everything being very disposable to cut down on what needs to be washed.

I go to my small circular table in the corner of the room on the far end of the windows.  Brandon and Chris are already sitting and have a chess game in progress. Brandon wears glasses and is the most out of shape guy of all of us. He has always been a bit over weight and now he just sits around and so he gained more weight than he would have liked to. He is wearing a flannel like he does on most days; today it is red and black, paired with jeans. Chris has a mocha complexion and a small fro. He is one of the few minorities in this school and for that he has to work extra hard to show people he is not one of the average black stereo typed kids. He is actually super smart, working towards seulidictorian. Chris is also one of the nicest people who goes to the school largely because he wants others to accept him so he is very excepting of himself.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” I sit in the chair next to the two of them.

“I am winning this game.” Chris does not even look up from the game he is so involved his mindset is set on game mode and there is no need for him to break that to small talk with me.

Brandon is less concentrated largely because he has already lost, not guaranteed but he has only no chance of winning at this point in the game. “Hey dude, um I don’t know my day has been pretty average, but it sounds like you might have a good story from today.”

“I do, today in gym I was partnered with Jacob Wilkins and we actually won a few matches and I got two points on my own. It was the best feeling ever like I had really accomplished something, my body loved it. I think I want to join a team for next quarter.” I am beaming with joy, my tone of voice it glowing with excitement.

Both Brandon and Chris look away from the chess board in shock of my over joyous statement.

“Collin did you get hit in the head today, or are you sick? We can take you to the nurse if that’s the problem.” Chris seems slightly concerned.

“Were you abducted by another life force because I feel like if that’s the case we have to ask some personal questions only you can answer and if you get them wrong we should kill you?” Brandon is more of a joker than Chris so his explanation to my change in character is very fitting.

“Guys I am perfectly fine, and the same person you have known since second grade reading buddies for Brandon and the library’s annual chess competition two years ago where I was cornered by Chris’s queen and rook and lost in the semifinals. But I just felt so good I want to be like that more often and sports are not like chess. They can get you up and moving to lose weight or get your brain fired up form endorphins. I was looking to find Jacob and discuss winter sports but I couldn’t find him. I was thinking basketball.”

“Basketball is for the tall and talented people of the world not for chess playing kids with asthma. Think about what you are about to get yourself into.” Brandon brings up some fair points.

“If I were you I would recommend you sleep on the idea and if you still want to join sports on Monday then talk it over with coach, he would be the best one to figure out how to channel you inner athlete. But for now you might want to just clam down.” That is Chris putting in the last word the way he almost always does. Now he is done with this conversation and turns back to the chess game where it was his turn and he had already figured what he was doing for the next five moves depending on what Brandon did. Chris moves his knight left two and up one. “Check” it’s no wonder why Chris is nationally ranked in chess he is a true genius in the art.

I start to eat the mash potatoes with a dollop of cranberry jelly and let the conversation simmer in my mind. Everything the guys said was true and good advice. I think I will have to think it over during the weekend and make my decision next week. I hope that my decision is the best one regardless which way I decide to go.  For now I watch chess and eat my school lunch when the time to decide comes I will be ready to go which every way I am being called and that will most likely not be the basketball courts.

 

Hope you enjoyed it. ps there was little to no editing done to it sorry about that.

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this is me after opening an email from Julia the writer girl about meeting her at bookcon so excited less than 2 weeks away from meeting my writing idol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Back

so I had been on spring break but now I am back at school, I returned to University of Rhode Island and since my return I have gone to 5 classes and it was a struggle to get back into the rhythm of school after vacation. I want to give a special shout out to my friend Johnson for helping me memorize things for my sorority last night, i think i passed the quiz and also I feel more like doing school work now so thank you so much.

this week in the way of post i am giving you chapter 3 of Collin and Jade, my national novel writing month story from November 2013, it’s been a while since i posted one of these. if i knew how to put in the hyper links to chapter 1 and 2 i would but if you want to read those you’ll just have to scroll through the blog they are on here.

Chapter 3 Jade

I take a big finger full of icing off the top of my cupcake and make it the first think I eat since breakfast.  Then I putdown the dessert portion of my meal, to get out and eat the food that with actually get me through the day. I have a metal lunch box with a red handle and the school’s crest on the front and back. It was a freshman fundraiser so my mom got me one and now my lunch gets to be toted around all official looking. Today I packed myself a peanut butter and jelly with strawberry jelly on whole grain bread with the crust left on and cut into two triangles. Then I have a water bottle, a pear and carrot sticks. Becca has the same lunch box as me but she tied a ribbon to her handle so it looks more recognizable. We are allowed to either bring lunch from home or eat the cafeteria food. And only the freshmen are required to eat inside. Being a sophomore I tend to eat on campus but not in the building. If I had a car I could go out and have real lunch out most of the seniors do that but for now I go to the court yard with Becca and eat at one of the intimate garden side tables. We could join a bigger group but most of the girls at this school are really snobby so at least Becca is nice.

“Can we not talk about today?” I ask Becca, I don’t know why I am so stressed but I really want to forget about this morning. Becca should understand that she always does she is like the annoying little sister I never had but when I need support she is always there for me.

“Fine let’s talk Halloween, it’s two weeks away what are we doing this year?”

That is a good question I feel like we are getting too old to trick or treat and sophomores don’t really have connections to get invited to any cool parties unless they crash.

“I was planning on dressing up.” Becca says cautiously hoping that it is not foolish.

“I don’t know what I want to do but I will definitely be dressing up as well.” The thought of Halloween costumes has been a back burner thought for a long time but I have not settled on anything yet. “Do we want to complement match or be completely different?”

“Can we match I wanted to be Tinkerbelle, what do you think about that?” Becca asks. I think Becca needs to get more confident.

“It’s not a bad idea actually sounds cute, but I would not want to be in the same outfit so can I be a blue fairy. Same costume but different color we can be sisters instead of twins.” I give Becca a shrug and a smile.

“Perfect we can go fairy dress shopping this weekend at Macy’s and if that does not amount to anything we can always try one of those temporary Halloween stores.”

“And the dollar store always has fairy wings so we don’t have to splurge on them.” I have noticed in the past that fairy wings and tutus are not the dollar store’s best sellers so they are always available in every color.

“This will be a fun weekend good thing it’s already Thursday because otherwise waiting may be really hard.” Becca takes a sip from her milk juice box. “How’s the sandwich?”

“Nothing special, just an extra strawberry jelly, pb&j, it’s just the way I like it.”

“Funny considering you make them I would hope it’s the way you like it.” Becca has a point with that one.

“Yeah well how is yours?”

“My mom forgot the mayo so it’s dry.”

“Becca when are you going to start to pack your own lunch, it’s not difficult and you know how to cook.”

“No, I bake, there is a huge difference. I have no interest in making food that does not have sugar in the first three ingredience. Real food is not sweet enough; there is already enough blandness in the world. I want to make the sweetness shine not average.”

“Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds? You should go eat a grapefruit without sweetener, they are the perfect metaphor for the world especially the way you see it.” I open my bag of carrot sticks and take a small nibble form the first one. “At face value it is pretty run of the mill looking, but you open it up and have to work for the reward, which is not even sweet. It’s bitter and yet satisfying, you can try to sweeten it but the origin is always there. No matter how much sugar you put into the world it is not going to make a long lasting effect the way the bitter truth will linger. Like the taste of a grapefruit it stays there until washed away but is always in your memory as an event that happened.” Grapefruit are my favorite fruit and my breakfast every day. I have a special spoon for eating them; it’s smaller than a teaspoon and has a double sided serrated edge to act as a mini knife. Most people do not understand my obsession with the perfect food in the world but I see it, grapefruit is my love considering it gives me more than any man in my life. And I rarely get sick because I eat so much vitamin C so the only negative is my teeth get worn down from the acid. But my dentist put me on a enamel building toothpaste that should reduce the damage my breakfast does to me.

Becca throws a piece of bread at me and I pretend to be hit by a bullet. Only good friends like me and Becca can do that in public without caring who sees. These are the moments that make me wish I had more friends like her but then they would be far from special and my appreciation for Becca may not be there.

“I just had an idea, can we resolve to not take things for granted.”

“What are you talking about Jade?”

“I am so grateful that you are my super good best friend and I don’t always think of you like that but I am lucky and glad and I just want to say thank you for being you because I love it.”

“Jade I am still confused but thanks for noticing I am awesome,” Becca pulls the Tupperware cupcake that is hers out of her lunch box. “Shall we?”

“We shall.”

After cupcakes we won’t see each other until practice so until then I will have to go through the day without my soul support of entertainment and sugary food. The hardest part of the day is already behind me so in no time at all I will be getting dressed and ready for Frisbee.

 

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hope you all had a green st. Patty’s day i know i did. 

Postponed

This has been a week where I feel like things keep getting pushed to a later date. I won’t go into it too much but I wanted to mention it. This morning I was really excited because Carly Rae Jepson was going to be on Kelly and Michael and it comes on at nine live but for some reason in Rhode Island it airs at ten so I sat through a really boring show trying to do chem homework in the lounge (I didn’t get much done). Yesterday there was supposed to be a voting for secretary of TV Media club and I think I will get the position but one of the people in the running for an executive position skipped the meeting so we postponed the vote (hopefully next week I will have good news to report on the subject.) Yesterday I tried to donate blood and was rejected for low iron by one iron point so I went again today and was rejected again but I guess I already knew I would be.

Tomorrow I am accepting my bid into sigma alpha the science academic sorority so I have to get a lot more done today, that is why this post didn’t get up hours ago, I have to priorities and use this for productive procrastination.

I am posting a chapter of Collin and Jade my NANOWRIMO story from this most recent November, this is chapter two the first one from Collin’s POV.

Chapter 2 Collin

I hustle out of the locker room in order to make it to the west gymnasium before getting a tarty. I hate it when my ancient Greek teacher keeps us in class past the bell because then I am late for gym. This semester we are playing badminton which is far better than rugby, it’s all pretty chill because it’s just gym class but sometimes I get winded. Rugby is so violent and I have asthma attacks when I get too much exercise. I am in a class that is mostly juniors and seniors but I got in with a note from my doctor advising I do not exert myself too much so the school made an exception and let me take an easy class as a sophomore.  It doesn’t matter much because most of the freshman sophomore gym classes are set up to get us interested in a varsity sport and then we get exempt from gym and put into study hall. It may sound like a good deal but that is so much more work and I cannot play competitive sports I just wasn’t made for it.

My light jogging pace gets me to class on time but I have to sit down after coach marks me as present. I fix my glasses and double check the left pocket of my sweat shorts to see my inhaler is in there, I feel like this is going to be one of these days when I will need it to breath.

“Double up guys I want to see pair’s games today and there should be no sitting around if there are empty courts. Grab a racket and get playing.” Coach shouts to us and then blows his whistle twice meaning begin game play.

I scan the room none of the guys here are my friends which makes sense we don’t have anything in common, nobody ever wants to be my partner because that is basically signing up to loose.  I will get a partner once there is no one left in the room. Occasionally when there is an odd number of people coach pairs up with me and then I can actually win but it’s not fair because I don’t do anything but stand on the court.

I get a racket that has black tape on the handle to make it easier to hold onto and a highlighter yellow shuttle. I decide to practice by myself before my partner gets stuck with me. I count how many times I can consecutively hit the shuttle up in the air before missing it. I get to six which is good for me and I may have done better but I am so shocked that someone wants to play with me that I forget about playing with myself and speechlessly nod my head.

“It looks like you warmed up without me, that’s fine I shouldn’t pull anything today it’ll be a nice easy set right Collin.”

The boy who is talking to me is Jacob Wilkins this year’s star soccer player of the Junior Varsity team. There are rumors that he was suspended form the varsity team for getting caught giving a soccer girl from Anna Lee’s drugs, enough to get her really messed up. The girl moved to another school district because of all the negative publicity that she was getting here.  Jacob claims it was not him because he does not deal but I think he smokes occasionally and he could have slipped something to that girl and she would not have questioned what she was taking. I do know that loads of girls find him attractive, they would come to the soccer games with posters and cheer for “J money” his on court nick name but now in his junior year he was demoted to JV and has to take a gym class for credit because only varsity gets us out of class. It may be hard to be popular like that but I will never know firsthand, popular people avoid me and that’s fine.

“I have to ask, are you pairing up with me because you lost a bet?” It would not be the first time that has happened to me sadly enough.

“No dude, I just felt like not trying today and I would lose anyway with you so coach should not notice that my performance is lacking.” Then Jacob shrugs his perfectly tan shoulders like his comment was as casual as talking about the weather and not completely insulting to my entire being.

It is true that we will lose but now I really want to try and show Jacob that just because I am an uncoordinated glasses wearing chess player with asthma does not mean that he is better than me. I have long arms so maybe I can use that to my advantage and score a few points today. This will be a challenge but I can win even without Jacob’s help, like the little engine that could positive attitude is most of the battle won.  It would be the coolest thing to show Jacob up if I outperform him today people may start to respect me more, I need this win. This could change my life, make the guys see me differently and then maybe it will trickle down to the girls and I could have a chance with one of them. I would love to have to have a girlfriend, a nice, funny smart good looking girl to hang out with and have fun with nothing too serious is needed but someone to be with so I am not so alone all the time. It gets lonesome like I live a celebrity lifestyle without the glitz and glamor just the empty hotel rooms.

“Jacob I want to win today with or without you helping me out. Let’s do this.” I say confidently

“Yeah right Collin, have you ever won in a sport game ever because if so I hope you got it on film to relive your single glory day.”

“In fact I used to play kid t ball and I was okay at that.”

“Really, what happened?” Jacob asks

“I had a hard time hitting the ball when it was moving so I quit after getting hit a few too many times.” It’s not pretty but it’s the truth.

Jacob bursts out laughing to the point where he is actually hitting his knee with the racket. “Dude that is the saddest thing I have ever heard, what did you do close your eyes when the ball came towards you?”

“Actually yes, I still do but the shuttles are far lighter and I don’t have to fear getting a bruise if I get hit with one. I can be aggressive as long as I do not get an asthma attach I have a chance. “

“You keep telling yourself that one, if it gets really bad like fifteen to one you can always fake asthma and forfeit. Bro I can see you have such a sad life, whatever I can try to help you win this match but that would be doing you a favor bro.”

Why in the world would Jacob Wilkins do me a favor, we are not friends or anything. This is probably the second time we have ever talked and the first one was superficial. Last year he was doing a soccer fundraiser at the super market and asked if I would donate change to the team.  I guess it just is not too important to Jacob, he has nothing to lose it’s not like there is a permanent record for the badminton games and coach may have even yelled at him for being lazy today if he does not try so this is a win win even if we still lose.

“I think I only owe you if we actually win because otherwise you really wouldn’t have done anything to favor me.”  I say and toss Jacob the shuttle.

“Fair enough, let’s beat some guys with our birdie.” Jacob obviously does not take the sport seriously because if he did he would call the “birdie” by its proper name of shuttle. “C-dog take right court I have left that way I’ll start the serve.”

“Sounds like a play J-money”

We walk over to an empty court and allow the competition to come to us; no one is sure how to evaluate us. Normally any team with me on it is an easy win but J-money is coordinated and does not have a depth perception problem, he tends to be a hard advocacy.  If you average our abilities we are still pretty bad thanks to me but the game is not played by numbers but by people with ambitions and spirit and in this case strong will power.

Two guys come up to our court they are both seniors but right now that does not make much difference to me. They have no idea what they just signed up for by stepping onto my court. I am starting to feel super competitive and there is an odd buzz going through my body it must be the adrenalin and excitement.

I turn to Jacob. “The anticipation is killing me can we start already?”

“Sure thing dude. You guys ready?” The other team nods, “zero serving zero.” And then Jacob executes a beautiful full swing forehand serve that goes over the net and the game has begun.

The other team is ready to return the serve and the shuttle goes right into my part of the court I reach out and connect with it. But my angle must have been miscalculated because the shuttle gets caught in the net and does not make it over to score our first point.  We lost serve control as well.

“Sorry Jacob, I’ll try harder next time.” I really am sorry.

“It does not matter this is a ten point game anything can happen and you hit it so that’s something right.”

That is true this is improvement even if it was still bad. I have to start somewhere so hitting into the net is better than letting the shuttle hit the floor. Focus is key right now I have to be on my “A” game or I will not be victorious.  The other side has their players shuffle around. I bounce in place to get pumped; it is totally working and possibly even distracting the other team. At this point I will do whatever I can to up my chances of willing except for cheating because that is morally bankrupt and all around a terrible thing. I do not understand how bad people can live with themselves; it is simply unfathomable to me.

“One serving zero.” The other team does not even seem to care.

Jacob lays it over the net and then has a back and forth for three moves. Then he decides to switch things up and angle the birdy toward the unexpected opponent and we get our first point. Making the score set for a tied games. I hug Jacob who does not even know how to react to this.

“C-dog, not cool it’s one point in a stupid gym class not winning goal of the world cup.” Jacob gives me a slight push to get me off him.

I just never do well but this feeling makes it so worth it. To feel like a winner it is physically exhilarating, I want to feel more of this. Turn me into a jock if that’s what it takes I would do it. I have never felt like I this before this is a beautiful feeling I want to share and spread so others can feel as good as I do in this single moment.

I play the rest of the game on a serious natural high and boy oh boy it feels great. The whole class flights by and nothing felt as amazing as the first point that come to think about it I was not very involved in the actual win we had. But best of all was the teamwork and comradery that comes from a team sport. I feel almost sad that I missed out on. Next quarter I want to sign up for an easy sport no more gym class I have been spoiled by the better option and do not know if I can ever go back.  I will have to discuss with Jacob what the best next move would be for me entering into the sport world. I will have to find him at lunch, unless he finds me first about the favor I now owe him.

 

there may be a bonus post this week for a certain holiday and also a girl who is about to have sisters but that second thing may become a later Wednesday post

Me minutes after getting my bid!!!!

 

Snow Day Effect

Happy Wednesday. For the first time of my short college career URI decided to give us a snow day but we only have two inches of snow and I do not have class today or any of the other Wednesdays this semester. So this is a snow day or no effect for me it’s just cold and white outside.

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So much has happened since last week when I posted. I met Dane West who if you remember from a few posts ago is my local film inspiration and idol. I found out I am seeing Carly Rae Jepsen on Broadway as Cinderella in march and I saw Disney on ice for the first time. As you can tell I love the movie frozen and so on the first night back at college me and my close group of dorm mates (the Gorham groupies) got together and saw frozen. This is my third time seeing the movie and I had to sing along a bit even though some of the people had not yet seen it. I love being back at school and tomorrow will be my first day of spring semester classes starting with 8am writing. I hope some of the writing I do there will be stuff I can publish on the blog. This week I am putting up the first chapter of my nano from Nov 2013. This was the first time of my three attempts to finish 50000 words of a novel in a month but the story is still far from finished.

Chapter 1 of Collin and Jade

Jade

Time is such a complex thing, like I don’t understand where it all goes . I planned to study and not fail this bio exam but then time decided to slip away and leave me staring blankly at a huge test first thing in the morning. Well the only good thing so far for me since waking up would have to be the fact that I look adorable I find time to look good. I could tell it would be one of those days that I would need to do little things in order to lift my spirits and distract form the at best D I am going to get in biology. So I woke up early and curled my hair in perfect long brown ringlets that bounce against my arms. I am wearing a flouncy evergreen dress with white polka dots and tossed on top is my mandatory red blazer. I put my black penny loafers on and choose the shortest socks I have that will not give me a demerit.  I keep getting distracted form this test, it’s just so not what I want to do right now.

I look at my exam again maybe if I try to focus I could eliminate the really bad options and then have a better chance at guessing the right one. Or just choose C if you all else fails. I love my SAT prep course it is so helpful for not failing school. I am only a sophomore like seriously this should not be hard. Why in the world do I go to such a prestigious school? It makes life so much more difficult.  In public school I could get points for like writing my name and date on the top of the page but at Anna Lee’s School for Girls I may as well be in college. I am only fifteen and totally not ready to go off into the world like that so school is definitely the hardest thing I do.

I bite the tip of my pen the first question is killer I don’t even understand what is being asked of me. Over and over I read the one sentence that ends in a question mark and my brain is bringing me nothing there is no mental bridge between cellular respiration and water. I skip it but the next three seem to be no better. I flip to the last page thinking maybe Mrs. Patten saved the easiest for last. That was wishful thinking the last page is all word problems that seem convoluted. I give up I can hear the gears in my head slow down to a stop. Time to pretend I know what I am doing and underline. I mark up the test to make it look like I was struggling but I sort of knew what I was talking about. I leave nothing unanswered but put down C way more than could possibly be correct. I have no hope for the open ended questions unless Mrs. Patten is feeling liberal with giving out partial credit.

My watch tells me that there is only nine minutes left in class. That is just a bit too long to fake looking over my work and I can’t get caught doodling on the desk or the exam again without risking double detention. So I let my mind wander away from my body that is stuck in the ever so boring school I attend. I start thinking about the boys at the brother school down the road. Sir James Prep. I would love to go out with a guy form SJ, one of the sporty ones that plays basketball or soccer, tall fit and preferably tan.  The only ones who seem to have an eye for me are nerds. The guys who are the farthest thing away from my description of arm candy boyfriend. I used to be friends with Collin McEwan who turned out to be a king of losers. He is pale as paper, and more of a mathlete than an athlete. He plays chess on the travel team and wears thick framed glasses that make his face look baby fat cute. I feel confident saying that because we were friends growing up. That is the best of my pitiful options; he is so far from setting off any hot guy radars. I don’t understand why the bottom dwellers like him and his posse think we can be seen together leave alone hang out or date.  Though if Collin or another nerd asked me out I would honestly have to consider because nothing else is coming my way.

I realize I play on the Ultimate Frisbee team which may not be first draft varsity pick but it is leaps and bonus better than having to take a gym class and it’s just for the fall season. I haven’t had to change for gym class since middle school back when I was still flat and awkward. Those were not the best of times but at least I have grown out of the awkwardness that was my younger self. Public school is a place where I left all those awful memories, there are so many but very few that are really worth dwelling on. I wonder if that is how everyone thinks about their past self.

“Damn it” I angrily whisper to myself.  I hadn’t been focusing on mindlessly daydreaming and now I have little drawings all over my paper. Black leaves falling from an invisible tree. Leaves and trees are my favorite thing to draw. They remind me of my favorite season autumn when the world dies a bit but puts on a beautiful display while doing so. I only have two minutes now, I have no idea how to hide my doodles. I scan the room most of the students are doing a final check over their work but a few are still working hard to get something down for every question. Deep breath, Mrs. Patten won’t mind too much at least I hope. Reasonably the worst case would be she deducts a point for defacing the test, I really need every point I earned but as long as I don’t do it again maybe I can apologize and use a pencil next time even though I love pens.

Pencil is uneven in quality, it has to be sharpened and is a childish writing utensil. Children make mistakes and need to erase, adults are less malleable and have earned the privilege of using pens professionally. And biggest of all as sad as it is pens are better for biting on, no eraser bits that I would end up eating. I came to this conclusion in my art class about a year ago. The professor of my community college art class taught us to choose a medium and work with it not against it. I choose pen and ink; it’s beautiful like calligraphy or working with a quill old school art. An artist’s medium says a lot about their personality and views of the world. I have a stubborn personality and see thing as very black and white, which is perfectly portrayed in my art. It’s clear cut and dark and commonly abstract because art is my only outlet that I do for myself. The only place my artwork can be seen is my house, it’s not really for other people but my mom thinks it’s brilliant to have my best work framed for display around the house. When my friends come over they occasionally ask who is the artist and I get to be conceded and talk about my work.

“Hand in your tests and go to homeroom I will have the grades on egbook by Monday.” Mrs. Patten’s speaking wakes me from my daze completely.

I stand up tuck in my chair and toss my standard issue canvas messenger bag.  I kick in my chair and swiftly shuffle my test papers so the doodle page in on the bottom and my answer sheet is on top. I still have my pen at hand when I reach the front of the room and extend my papers to Mrs. Patten.

“Jade please put your name on the answer sheet so you can receive credit. I shouldn’t have to tell you this.”

It’s true she shouldn’t, “Sorry Mrs. Patten.” I quickly draw my prim and proper cursive name at the top of the page. Jade A. Norbert. “Have a good day.” It can’t hurt to give a put in a nice word after looking like an idiot. With that I leave the room at a hasty pace before my classmates can see the bright blush that is spreading across my face like a forest fire.

“Jade wait up.”

I turn around to see Becca chasing after me. She is pretty much my best friend weather I want her to be or not. We have the same schedule and have similar interests so we constantly are together by proxy. She’s not that bad I actually like her most of the time it’s just sometimes she gets on my nerves because we are always together.

“So Becca what did you think of the test?”

“It wasn’t as bad as I had expected why what did you think of it?” Becca asks confident in me.

“I think I failed it, can we study together for the next one because I think I am going to need serious help to pass bio at all.” I want to tell her how she is so lucky that science is easy for her because the rest of the world has to struggle through while she excels.

“Sure thing we could study before Frisbee practice or in study hall or if you really need more help we can have a dinner and a study date.” Becca chuckles at the lamest word play joke. She tends to do that it bothers me after lunch because that is when I approach my Becca limit for the day.

“Thanks Becca you are a real life saver you know that right.”

“I’m not, but thank you for thinking so highly of me.” Becca rummages through her bag without mentioning anything, we keep walking. “I thought you may have a hard time on the test so I made you something.”

Becca holds out a Tupperware container with a green lid. I take form her and inside is a beautiful vanilla cup with perfect pink and white swirled frostings and rainbow sprinkles. When Becca does things like this it is impossible for me to dis like her. She is the most thoughtful person I know and her creativity is far more productive than mine. I draw while she bakes and decorates her edible artwork.

I give Becca a hug careful to keep the cupcake from getting messed up. “Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed before I even knew for myself.”

“What are best friends for, I have one for me too but if you need it I will give it to you at lunch.”

I put the top back onto the container and hold it out to Becca “Could you hold onto it till lunch we can eat them together and make everyone jealous of what we have.”

Becca smacks my but playfully and we both break out laughing in the middle of the hall way full of girls going to class. I’m pretty sure she knew that I meant a great friendship and homemade baked goods but it’s hilarious that she would flip my statement into people being envious of our bodies. We are fit girls, we have to be I do a sport year round Frisbee in the fall, swimming in the winter and lacrosse in the spring. I go to the gym four times a week on top of the sport practice work outs and practices, so yeah I can see how people could be jealous of my hot bod but it won’t stay that way if I eat two cupcakes every time I feel bad about myself. I am also pretty sure nobody actually wants to be me, I am not a looser but I am far from popular.

“I appreciate the ego boost and the yummy treat but I think it’s time for class,” we are standing in front of the doorway for Lit we take the class together but sit on opposite sides of the room because of the assigned seating. Alphabetically Norbert, Jade and Adams, Rebecca places Becca in the first row and me in the middle of the class. Even though there are only fifteen people maximum in any given class here the desks are spread out to keep people from cheating.

An hour and fifteen minutes before we can go to lunch break and eat our scrumptious pick me up deserts. Literature may be a harder class to sit through then bio today just because I have something so great to look forward to. I decide that I should put my sketch pad in my binder to hide it in plain sight on my desk this way I can draw without getting in as much trouble.

We are currently reading Shakespeare of your choice. Becca and I are the only two people in the class who chose the Tempest.  It’s pretty cool I haven’t finished but so far it has magic, a controlling father figure, love and slave master conflict. Because it is a comedy everything is going to work out in the end and someone will get married Shakespeare was so predictable. Lots of the girls chose to read Romeo and Juliette but that is so over done I am glad to be more original than those girls.

Madam Elizabeth enters the classroom and the room goes silent. “Good morning Class, get out your scripts we have a lot to work on today.”

Man I was really using wishful thinking that it would be an easy day. My script is a photocopy that I put into my binder when I first got it so I already have it out. And I have my extra cutesy pink highlighter has a clip to hook into my binder so I have everything I need in front of me already. I don’t love the color pink but I find it necessary to pretend I do.

My favorite color is a midnight blue the kind that sky is before it is completely black. There is something so complex about it, such a fleeting color hard to catch in real life leave alone duplicate for art. One of my all-time favorite pieces of my art work is a painting I did for my class because we were working with acrylics that week and so I had to do something with color. I spent the whole first class working on getting a navy blue to become the true midnight blue that I needed. I got close but it wasn’t the same to the way the sky naturally looks. Once I was close enough I painted the whole canvas deep midnight and let that dry. Then on top I put autumn leaves fluttering in a gust of wind to look like the wind had stirred up a late night fire.  It’s not framed because it was already on canvas and that is the piece I hung over my bed so every day I get to come home and see my masterpiece.

“Get into groups by row and discuss any langue problems you have had so far in your reading. When you figure them out go ahead annotate act three, that’s the homework for tonight so you can get a head start.” Madam Elizabeth seems to be nicer today than normal, we always have tons of homework and this is a rare occurrence to get ahead in class. I am not complaining though.

We form five groups of three, I have Darby and Marry who both have worn copies of Romeo and Juliet in their hands. This class may not be a hard one but I just want it to be over. I don’t move because I am the middle so both girls pull chairs over to huddle around my desk.

“Let’s get this over with.” I say with my best fake smile.