Something good tonight made me forget about you and I.
Last night I honestly could not focus anymore. I had been avoiding my work load and my social life a bit too. So I started to crumble the way an old building will without maitanace.
I wanted and needed different things so mentally my compromise was to seek comfort however I could get it.
Post binge watching scripted reality tv feeling more lost and less fulfilled I made a call. To a guy who I knew would answer. On the second ring I heard a gruff hey!
I nearly started crying I just wanted to hear him talk. To wish he were near enough to hug and kiss. To tuck me in and wipe away my inevitable tears.
The distance of about twenty miles seperated our bodies but our voices were in the same conversation. I found comfort in his whispers and imagined him behind me in the silence. As if standing in the other room or right behind me. Out of sight but not out of mind.
I love him for the good things and forgive him for the rest. I have so little in my daily life that I see as good because I overlook the little things. The moments in the phone feeling connected, or when a stranger sees your bad ass par core, or when you know the answer to a question. The little things are something but they may need to be my everything.