Recent feelings

I have hit a ruff patch at work got in some trouble fora big mess up on my part but was forgiven I had two days off this week because i was sent home sick after half an hour of being useless at work from the nausea. I wanted to use one of my days off to see my previous roommate Tara who had me wait all day and then decided that there was not enough time to see me she had other better things to do. I was so mad I can not waste my free time like that ever again. The way I told her this made her think I would not forgive but that is not it, I will forgive you a million times over and get hurt more than half of those time but that is the person I am. I am working very hard to become a forgive but never forget kind of person, to hold grudges that will keep me from making the same mistakes. Kyle my ex has told me to never speek to him again a few times and pretty much every time I think it would be acceptable to text him I end up very upset over our interactions so for now and maybe forever more the best course of action is leaving him alone. There is a new front bottoms song that has gotten me through this week. here is the link to Cough it out The first line is so true and as you get further in it remains true. I live my life by the line “I don’t care if your not sorry I forgive you, And with or with out your support I will continue, What I’m trying to say is you ever know what you’ve been through.” And the bridge “what ever I did for you last year I cannot do again, it’s getting harder and harder and harder and harder and harder for me to call you my friend, no matter how many times I say I wont I defend you if I can, but what ever i did for you last year I cannot do again.” I can think of a hand full of people that I truly thought were my friends but they have not been very good friends to me at least not the way I want them to be and this song has me thinking. I started college with a fresh slate and now half way through want to start over again . it would be hard to ditch Courtney Cap and Ryan but to loose the three best people I met at URI in order to meet so many more sounds quite nice. I will not be transferring but I have half hardheartedly toyed with the concept. Recently I have not felt interesting or all that valuable so I asked my friends on snapchat why am I not happy and the answers were far more profound than I had expected. Happiness is a state of mind. The better question is what is making you unhappy. Have you tried music or reading. And the one thing I was able to do was gt a book by recommendation of the wonderful freshman year roommate Courtney suggested. Well Courtney actually recommended a movie but I don’t really have internet so I got it in book form. Hector and the search for happiness.I have not felt much better from reading it but it is a cute book and I am very greatful to be reading something both new and interesting for fun. (My GIS textbook is very dry but i’m about 1/4 the way through it. I still need to buy a few more books for school and put in my Study Abroad application fee.) In fully unrelated news, I have purchased hair extentions and fake glasses what do you think?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s