Monthly Archives: June 2015


Yesterday was my first day off in a while and I totally lived it up, Two insanity work outs, painted nails and toes, went to the beach played video games and got to see my good friend Mary. I will have work today but late morning start so I got to sleep in and cook and video game some more. I found out about a Tove Lo concert that I will buy tickets for soon and it looks like Kyle and Courtney will accompany me. (Lets hope Kyle and I are good by October.) I work so much I have no time to go out shopping for clothes or food or anything which means the internet is my store, I have not really bought much though just video game downlodes and concert tickets. I value experiences more than physical things. I am seriously trying to accumulate less things and live a life not tied down to things.

This week I am putting up an excerpt paragraph of how I was feeling a few months ago. It is not perfect I have tried to fix it but I don’t want to lose the meaning I was going for when I was feeling down a while back so this mini restoration process has not been easy. I guess it’s a poem.


My love life has been composed of a long string of short relationships, the string has been cut and frayed from living a brash youthful life. With each new start there is a spark from the inner fire that has not lasted long enough to catch the whole thing into ablaze. There are tears that cool down when the heat is picking up. The flood comes from the ending that was unseen and abruptly smothers the spark into a soggy sad string left in a puddle. The string may not be the strongest anymore but it is kept though not necessarily useful. New experiences, new people  they give me hope that there will be a reason I carry all the small string with me in my heart and my head and my bones. It does not weigh me down the way it used to. One day I may find a string that can kindle a camp fire or be knit into a sweater. The idea of good string excites me, future strings ones that could be long all the ones that are mysterious and carry unknown amounts of potential, that could tie together the sad small pieces that I have already they are the end goal. Live a life of string long enough to make new and salvage some of the old.

Lets talk about food

I have been feeding myself for a few weeks now with a full kitchen at my disposal. but let’s be honest I have never enjoyed cooking. When I eat alone food is nothing more than a necessity and may as well be saw dust. I love food when it is a social even. Dinner with friends at a pub or diner, eating around a nice family style table with the family. Even in the school dining hall I pretty much do not eat alone. I have been working 5-10 hour shifts pretty much every day,(When I get paid it will be glorious) meaning my life consists of waking up making breakfast going to work and coming home with very little variation. to me an exciting day is going to the library to get some DVDs. With that in mind by the time I get home on a full work day to an empty house I shower before or after insanity workout. (If before that means it’s not happening that day) and want to pass out so i sit on the couch and do exactly that. I don’t want to spend another second standing to cook not ever canned soup so I rarely eat dinner.

If we are what we eat I am pizza. Well to be politically correct I am water pizza and eggs. Those three items are what keeps me alive. I know that is a scary thought and like where are you getting the needed protein and vitamins and such. To be honest I don’t know. If you ask me what I eat as a vegetarian at school I look at you like you asked me to lift a million pound rock. I have no idea how to answer that question. I know I must eat something and it’s not always the same but how should I know what that magical stuff that keeps me alive is? I am not hiding anything from you I really do not remember it. And I feel alright healthy and all so I do not really worry. It is my right to eat poorly if I want to and I don’t want to be reminded how bad it is for me, I know but it is what it is for the time being.

DO NOT FLIP OUT ON ME. i have started counting my calories. Not really for weight loss but because the apps these days are so easy to use. I type in what I eat it tells me the nutricional value and can guide me away from bad stuff or at least tell me my trends. I hope to avoid gaining weight over the summer because working around endless amounts of fried food is bad enough and the temptation plus availability can make it hard to resist a full on chow down. The app will guilt me out of over eating and should be good for me. If it seems dumb or unhelpful after a few weeks I will delete it but who knows.

Now that that rant is over (Thank you for reading three paragraphs about how I do not eat well when left to my own devices) I want to work toward improving myself this summer. Reading more was a new years resolution that I have started to fall short on. I have been good about not using my phone at work but home is another story. I don’t think that is a problem it’s not being used to detract me when people are around but still. I know I can and did live with out a smart phone. In the fall I want to barely use the thing (I deleted sims for the calorie counter,(and because it wouldn’t update)) I’ll sleep more when my mom is around to tell me to. I need to write lists or something to push me to get things done like household chores. I want to write for fun because I have not had fun writing in a while.

In the reading category I want to get through the hunger games trilogy again, Falling into Place, read the next few Maze Runner books, 50 shades of grey, and kite runner. If there are other books you think are must read please recommend them to me.

I think that is it for the moment I may have to go back to twice a week posts for the summer to get me to do some writing so one can be a rant and one can be creativity. idk if that will happen wait and see is the best I can say about that.


Book con year 2

I know I should have done this post last week but better late than never I guess. So I went to bookcon and had a frat day. I got to see one of my best friends cap.

Together we were able to have really good seats like second row for Felicia day.

I saw mindy kaling alone and had really bad seats but it was still fun to hear her talk about her life. That panel came with a free excerp of her second book which I read on the train ride home and loved so much I want the book.

I was able to hear the author of phantom tollbooth. One of my all time favorite books

What was even better about Norbert (phantom tollbooth author) was that I went up to the stage and was able to thank him for writing the book and tell him how much it shaped my life. He took my fan girling very well.

I saw Julia and realized how I really want to be a better friend to her. We got to do a free photo booth.

 I saw aziz ansari who is a funny guy.

 And then when we left the javis center (cap and I)  had amazing ny pizza

I got free tote bags and a few books that I hope to read but if it’s anything like last year none will get read but a tote bag will be used to death.
I think that is about it for my bookcon trip. I have since been working my summer job every day and stuck to insanity this dad. My first day off (today) will be spent at six flags. I just wanted to get this post in so I don’t have I worry about the possibility of forgetting. I have been reading Collin and jade I’m about 20% through and so far it’s not terrable but it is time coinsuming.  That’s all for now   If you are my friend and you read this please tell me however you can I miss so many people and am not doing as well as I should to stay in touch but that is in part because I don’t have a reason to reach out so this is your opertunity friends remind me of why we are friends. (Mdog you are excused if you want to not partake. I got you girl)

All caught up

I am so happy to be home. In the last week I’ve seen most of my friends from home. Made cookies ate at diners played video games and all in the company of friends. Nash Fara Jackson and Ewa in south orange and today I got to see my prior roommate Tara who is doing so well I’m glad we live close together. 

Tomorrow I start work which I am more than happy to do. I loved my job last summer pizza on the beach what more could I ask for. 

This post I want to focus on five things I learned while working. 

  1. Smile, no matter how you feel each customer is a new start and they want to be treated well. 
  2. The customer is always right, even if you were right try to accommodate them. 
  3. Your job should be more than a paycheck. If you hate your job look for something else I garentee someone would love to take your place. 
  4. Dance like no one is looking. Because hopefully no one is, moving is good to keep awake and enjoy your hours on the clock. 
  5. At the end of the day know you have a job and going in to do that job is giving you something to do. My first summer working was the best summer of my teenage life and all I did was work so the attitude you brink to the workplace will seriously effect your memory as well as your coworkers oppinion of you. 

So in summary attitude and communication are key to having a good summer while working