I just had an amazing time at this small concert, New Politics came to URI and with the same crew as 2 weeks ago minus Russ we went out and had an even better time. there is something amazing about the intimacy of a small venue. I have been really stressed and should not be but this show really helped a lot.
Kyle and I are doing better each and every day. We had a bunch of issues that may have been solvable but not under the pressure of the relationship. I am working on being more committed to the things I do when I am in the moment. Thank goodness the school year is almost over. I think I go home in 15 days.
Leaving events when you’re having good time is never optimal. You never want to be the first one to leave. It’s hard to think that if you leave now there may not be another time is good but chances are there will be. Every once in a while the odds are against you and that will be your last time having fun but it still cannot last forever.
I have had so many people leave me one after another to the point where I am one of the few people left. To stay now will be sad but I need to stick it out. Because something in my mind tells me I do. I am too deep to walk away. This was fun, an adventure of sorts but now it is a barren landscape. I am not very happy but I am forced through the motions. I am not all alone and even though I have so many people left with me the top tear is thinning out. The secondary and tertiary sections are overwhelming in size but not necessarily in quality.
Staying till it is no longer fun is not an option we have passed that point so now I remain until either I no longer can or there really is no body else to keep me company. For some reason I think the former will end up being my escape plan.
For now I will sleep on it and in the morning live out yet another day even if it is painful or lonely I will have fun again. The odds are on my side for that.
Sorry that it’s a bid of a downer. I wrote it when Tara my crazy beautiful roommate decided to leave school, I called out of work and we packed her up so once again (for the last 2 weeks of school this time) I have the room all to myself.