The Day Before

This last week has included lots of tears and even more forgiveness. I have a hard time staying mad or upset with people even when I think I should be less than really nice to them. To Tara and Kyle mainly I have been able to forgive one more than the other. The offences are so different one is careless and easier to accept. the other one is emotionally loaded and painful. I realize how vague I am being but it feels like this week I want to be left alone and stare at my wall listening to the front bottoms thinking of my map and pictures of when I was happy. I have been hanging out with people that I desire to know better, Cap and Mdog and 7ft tall Ryan. You three are going to be known to me as the best friends, can we all four of us get together for pictures I would enjoy that expect to be contacted soon.

I have a few pounds of homework huge assignments in every class, I may fail something for real this semster which also makes me want to cry, and listen to the front bottoms. I have more weekend plans for the next three days that I normally have for a whole week. I barely eat and I sleep a tiny bit extra but I am just so far from happy.
I signed up for camp nanowrimo and was placed in an amazing cabin I am on track for my 10K goal considering it is half way through the month and I was already doing some writing I have a valid excuse to write more now. I am putting a short something up this week that I wrote a few days ago for camp.

The Day Before

The day before an experience the chance can go a few ways.
There is the sort if change that is planned for a long expected anticipated and written down on the Calendar in pen.  Things like moving to college that is a beautiful new beginning to leave everything and everyone you know to try something new. But that is a sheltered step into a community of peers going through the same life events.
Then there is the unexpected things where one day you can be driving home on local streets the same as any other Tuesday afternoon and out of nearly nowhere comes a child or an animal that you have to hit or drive I to a tree. Neither good options both will change you.
An unexpected happened to me yesterday and I had not seen it coming. A person. Very deer to me will now be rather distant. The good memories together will be enough to bring me to tears.
Last night it rained and this morning is day one after the life changing even. To take things one day at a time, try to not break down, function through until I am actually better. The way you already are. The rain has a way of beginning again the exact thing I now need to do.
I guess its a free form poem extremely raw, written in a moment of emotional feels.
Till next week just keep making it through.
-Rachel
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