Monthly Archives: September 2014

nailed it september

So because it is the end of the month (did it fly by for you or drag because mine seemed to do both depending on the time frame) I have some nail art for you. This is not going to be very impressive compared to the summer posts where all I did was go to work and sleep so my nails were manicured all the time but now with school work and everything else my nails are not as nice looking or done as often. for that I apologize.

I love working at school but it is not the same as working my summer job which i miss more that I should. Here is so few hours and so easy that it doesn’t feel like real work and because I have so few hours the paychecks (every other week) are basically spent before I get another one. But with out a doubt having the spending money is nice other wise I just would not go shopping at savers with my friends or get sorority zip up hoodies or farmers market food and so on.

The point of saying all that was the dish room destroys my hands and it’s discouraging to have to redo my nails all the time so I do them a lot less now only for special occasions and also I am really loving the simple looks with just a touch of glitter for detail so sorry for the less elaborate than usual nail post.

blue

xme

purp 2

gradient bl

purple

autum

dark pink

So i am going to go paint my nails right now and think about my life.

I want to put in a poll but don’t know how to so I will have to make all the decisions by myself.  I will no longer be doing vegan Mondays while at school because they are not productive and make me rather unhappy so when I go home we’ll see what happens but not here.

I may be redoing everything and reformat and do things on different days so this may be the last nail post for all i know my life is changing and it seems only fair for my blog to change with it otherwise I don’t think I will enjoy doing this for me or you guys.

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farmers market food

 

 

Thoughts on Just Because

Just because you can

This is my 50th post WOO HOO YEAH ME!

If you are reading this that means that you are more fortunate than many people on the planet, think about it if you have access to internet then you have a leg up over people who want it but do not have access to the resource. This applies to everything as high class as mansions and new iPhone and as basic as clean water and three solid meals a day.

The thought for this week is so deeply rooted in what is complexly going on in my life but I will get to that in another post when I can clearly see what is going on. I have been getting very little sleep this week and wearing myself out. It feels like I can only keep up with everything if I get about 5 hours of sleep which scares me because nanowrimo is in less than two months and if I can barely handle what I am doing now adding fifty thousand words will only make the daily grind harder.

I love everything I do and continue to keep up with all of it because it is available to me. When is the  next time in my life that I will have this many opportunities to be involved? The thing I have to keep in mind is that this is an amazing part of my life but I have to love and enjoy it from multiple levels yes there is the here in now which means I should do what I can and live it up every moment but there is also the fact that I will look back on these years and they will be hopefully some of the best memories I have but only if I have a good overall experience. There are so many things I could do like pull all nighters but at what cost.

This is only a half baked thought so to make up for that I am going to include a poem i wrote over a year ago. Entitled Evolve

Day in day out

A repatitious pattern

Viewing the same faces

Some you love

Others you do not.

But then sometimes

It all gets to be too much

The tired farmiliars of good morning

Or hello feel worn out

Time to decide.

Make this more or leave it behind.

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For anyone who didn’t see on face book part of the reason i have been getting almost no sleep soils and chemistry the two hardest classes i am taking this semester. (this was taken at like 5am so i was not necessarily pretty yet.)

Books

So I have two things to put in this post the 10 books that most influenced my life and my summer reading list.

Also It is September 11th and that day has a lot of things attached to it. But I feel like the ten year anaversery was a big deal that had a larger ripple on my life than the original event that occured when I was in the first grade and too young to really understand. Also this is my official one year anaversery of having a face book.

10 books

1 Hunger Games by Suzane Collins

2  Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

3 A crooked kind of perfect by Linda Urban

4 The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

5 The Phantom Toll Booth by Norton Juster

6 Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemine Snicket

7 Harry Potter By J. K. Rowling

8 Paper Towns by John Green

9 Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton

10 The Giver by Lois Lowry

As for the books I read this summer I have included small reviews of them sorry there are so many (but not really because I love reading.)

Wonder

I liked it but can’t say that I loved it. I found it in the children’s section of the library but I had wanted to read it for so long now I felt this was not a deterrent. The book was easy to read big print cute story but I do not see myself recommending it to peers. Quick read very about society and how hard it is for anyone who is different told mostly form the POV of a fifth grade boy born with a deformed face.

The Giver

So there is a good chance you have already read this one in middle school but if you didn’t enjoy it then (we have at least that in common) you should pick it up now. I loved it I will be telling people all summer to read it or just talk with me about it. I just felt like the book was so whatever in school, I didn’t appreciate the story the way I do now. I thought it was like no duh of course they kill the old people so should we but now I actually have feelings for fictional characters and enjoyed it. This is possibly one of my favorite books now so read it. (If you have time that is and feel like taking my recommendation.)

The Great Gatsby

Another book that you may have read in school, I truthfully enjoyed it a week after I finished reading it back in high school. Ever since I have wanted to reread Gatsby but felt I never had time or the book so I listened to this one online because I could get it there easier than from the library.

Looking for Alaska

I have read this book before so don’t freak out because I have been reading john green for years I started like 3-4 years ago and this was the first one of his works I read and while watching the vlogbrothers videos I felt the need to reread this one. I liked it and realized I had forgotten much of it in the years since I read it.

The Fault in Our Stars

So I have now read this book 6 times and at first I thought it was amazing but now I am at a point of realizing it is a good to very good book but all the hype is crushing the story a bit for me. I read it for the reason of prepping for the movie and if you have not seen it yet go see TFiOS it’s a very good movie and a fair adaptation. It is far from perfect but all the good quotes made it and bring tissues.

Lets pretend this never happened

A mostly true auto biography by an adult blogger from texas, I loved it so funny so real it felt like listening to a friend tell about their child hood and life in general. I was clued in by a librarian about this one because I mentioned that I have a  blog and I am so glad I checked it out I loosely recommend it’s a fun read I’ll say that.

Forever

This is the third book in the shiver series and I didn’t even finish reading it, I had to call upon the good old book on tape to read it to me. I recommend shiver and if you like it read linger but by the time you get to forever it feels old. Teen love story with paranormal facet to keep things interesting is very over done I loved twilight but it spawned so many books that made and overpopulated a YA genre.

Legend

If you enjoy dystopian future books you should like this. It’s an easy read I need to thank Lola who I met at bookcon for recommending me to read this series I went through this book in like two days. A charming story told from two points of views, Day the governments most wanted criminal and June the government prodigy with a perfect score on her test and in a turn of events June is assigned to her first mission which is to capture Day. Both of them are 15 and there is some great conspiracy stuff going on. I hope the rest of the series is as good as this one.

Th1rteen r3asons why

This I found to be an amazing book but it definitely has some tricky topics including suicide and rape so I would say do not take this book lightly. I did enjoy but there were points when I felt like I could use an episode of my little pony to cheer me up but if you feel up for it I would recommend. Good book right here I give it two thumbs up and would bring it up in conversation to inspire others to read it too.

Prodigy

The second book in the legend series I enjoyed it but not as much as the first one. I think part of that was I started reading it and then got a job that took away like all my energy but in return gave me money. But to be fair prodigy was good enough that I am going to read the third book.

 BitterBlue

I hadn’t heard of it before reading it was one of those I need a book on playaway so I can listen to it while going to work and this was at the library with a nice cover. A magical world where the young queen has to discover what her father did to his people and how can she improve things for her people. I may not be making it sound very good but that is not fair to you guys. I found it a bit confusing and too in depth but that is definitely in part due to falling asleep to it before bed time and listening while doing other things. There were some loveable characters. It seemed like a long book and I do not think I would have actually read it the conventanal way but listening got the story across to me for the most part and I did not regret hearing it. (also I am the kind of person who will give up on a book if it’s not my cup of tea.)

Code Name Verde

I had tried reading this book over a year ago when Julia the writer girl raved about it on her blog. All I have to say is that you have to get pretty far into it before it gets good. In my opinion I do not really know anything about WWII history and after 50 pages of reading it while in highschool I was done but this time I started from the beginning and got all the way through really enjoying it once I got into the story. I think it could be used in schools to teach them about women’s roll in the second world war. Glad I gave this one a second chance.

Beastly

I thought it was a really nice Disney story adaptation of beauty and the beast very modern far better than the movie. The best things about it were the small things that made it more current like the “beast living in new York city and having a support group on the internet with the little mermaid and frog prince. It was fun to listen to and seemed light and easy to follow unlike some of the books I read prior that were too in depth for me to recommend lightly.

Insurgent

For starters I read this with my eyes and as a book that I heald in my hands. I can’t say I liked it but to be fair I was not a fan of divergent I will be reading allegiant because I have invested enough time in this series I feel I deserve a proper ending and after seeing V Roth at bookcon I really want to read four when it comes out so I feel it’s only fair I finish the series before reading the spin off. I love the genre of dystopian future but this just feels too similar to everything else, maybe if I had read this first I would feel differently about hunger games but I can’t play the what if game (it’s not like I can have selective amneisha to be able to reread hunger games like I am reading it for the first time every time I read it.)(Is it bad that I own three copies of hunger games? 2 paperback and one hard cover.)

Champion

It dragged a bit at the end but all in all very good series I am so greatful to the bookcon girls who recommended it to me. if by now you are thinking about reading ledgend do it the first book is good enough to hold the rest together so good job Marie Lu you may not be getting the publicity that some of your colleges in the YA dystopian genre are getting but you deserve all your fans and then some because you know how to write. Champion touched upon a more political view of the government that rules the parts of the world we are exposed to in the series. A serious ending to a nice trilogy.

Boy Meets Boy

I didn’t like it as much as I may have if I had read it alone, my mistake was listening to this at the same time as Will Grayson Will Grayson a collaboration between Nathan Levithan and John Green. they were a bit too similar because his voice of a gay boy is so strong and similar.

Will Grayson Will Grayson

I really liked it to have a drop of John Green that was new was so freshly pleasant. I read looking for Alaska five years ago and then Paper towns four years ago, TFiOS three years  ago Abundance of Kathrines this Christmas break to savor his works which I have re read at least once except for Kathrine (which I was not really a fan of) I know there are a few other small things I have left but I am saving them for a rainy day. I strongly suggest that if you like TFiOS of John green works any of them to start watching the vlogbrothers. You are going to be seven years behind but I got caught up in only two months I have faith in you guys, it’s a fun way to spend a few days worth of hours.

Allegent

This was my favorite of the divergent series. It is nice to have a POV that is not Trish. After reading it I really appreciate that nobody who had read it told me what happened that is something about the fans of this series they seem to know better than to spoil it for everyone else.  I am very excited to read the side story Four.

The 100

There are too many point of views and flashbacks it was really confusing part of that may be that I was listening on tape but the story is good aside from that. sadly the second book is not out for a little bit longer so I would not recommend reading until the series is all out.

Sinner

This is the ship that everyone wanted from the shiver series. Thank you Maggie stiefvater for giving the world the fictional character Cole St. Clair and making another book so there is more of his story. Rock star life, love and werewolves would be the words I used to sum up this book quickly.

Two boys kissing

By far my favorite David Levathan book so far. Well put together.

Four

The more of V Roth I read the more I seem to like her.

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What are your favorite books leave them in comments I will take reccomendations on what I should read next

 

I Saw a Cockroach

So this post is our of no where as you can tell it is not my regular posting day but it has been an eventful enough one that I feel the desire to do a quick something also I said I would post more and I plan on doing so.

Lets start from this morning- I woke up nice and early in an empty room to get to work where I cleaned dishes and used the pot sink for the first time. With about an hour left of work I was asked to clean the front conveyor belt and while doing so there was a little critter drowning in the discarded cereal and other liquid in the bottom tray. He (or she I am not qualified to figure out the gender of the bug in question) was not killed but yet moved to the trash.

A tangent story from this will come up some day and I will just have to quote back to this blurb about the sometime struggle to not kill things as a vegetarian leaning towards vegan also sometimes you just do not know what your food is cooked in which is where the real problem lies.

On that last note today being Monday is a vegan day for me so I have been hungry but living off of fruit veggies and carbs the only things I seem to be able to eat on Mondays.  If anyone has tips on how to pull off this vegan thing please tell me let me in on the secrete ways because I am definitely doing something wrong.

I had chemistry class today then after my bowl of spinach that I will refer to as lunch I skyped my mom for the first time ever because she is brand new to skype. It took me about a year to convince her to get one but I am really glad she broke down and got one we plan to video chat again on Thursday

I accidentally joined a club called slow foods that are all about organically grown food and healthy eating but also realized that I will have to drop out of either my a Capella troop or deactivate from my sorority; since the latter has far more repercussions I believe that even after putting in so much work towards being in this amazing start up singing group I will be giving up my spot for someone else to fill during the auditions that will be held next week.

Tonight Miranda the roommate that I finally do not have to refer to in future tense is getting a new video game so that is the exciting update in her life.

On Thursday I am going to post the books I read over the summer as well as the ten books that most effected my life that fb challenge that two people have already tagged me to do. So until Thursday keep reading living and being you also if you have a minute and want to hear what I am look up the band Said the Whale I am a bit obsessed right now here is one of my favorite of their songs.

Return to College

I have had such a week of ups and downs, I stopped working at Pavilion on Saturday. A sad day where I really had to come to the realization not that summer was over but that I would never see my amazing co workers again. I wish them safe travels back home weather to local homes in new jersey or long distant ones of Tiland and Slavacia I will miss that gang of fast food serving young folks they were the only people I really interacted with this summer.

This picture was taken after I had left but this is pretty much the crew I worked with all summer Thank you Ann for posting this on FB love you guys
This picture was taken after I had left but this is pretty much the crew I worked with all summer Thank you Ann for posting this on FB love you guys

Then on Sunday I drove up to Rhode island with my dad where we made great time until we got lost but it all worked out and I had the help of my current roommate Miranda and a few other people to unlode the car. at which point I called my mom and said good bye to my dad (Dear family I will see you at Christmas time!)

Then on first night the freshman welcome tour to getting involved around campus I practiced an a cappella piece that was not preformed for the reason of too much background noise. then there was some negative stuff that I have decided to censer out of this post ❤ you Miranda and Johnson ❤ that is all i have to say about that.

I have been to the beach with my Gorhome Groopies, met the freshman that want to join Quidditch Watched a few hours of the League to get caught up for the new season cried more times than I would have liked and slept in my room alone but those are just a few of the things that have happened this half week of sophomore year. I am ready to tackle year two and I hope to have some of the old and some new people to get involved in my life story say hi to me if you see me on campus I love people as a blanket statement they are wonderful!

The room I am living in is small but I can truthfully say I am starting to really like it close to perfect just one or two posters away.

This week I am putting up a short story I wrote over the summer but it seemes fragmented to me feel free to leave comments on how to fix it because right now i don’t even know what is needed.

I am at a very sad moment in my life. More heart reaching than any of the sorrows I have previously experienced in my 18.75 years of living.

Today I was told I may not get to finish collage at least not at my university and not at this time. I wish that I could be more understanding but I really can’t be. I hate my situation and also I hate how selfish I am but this is the time for me to be young and selfish. I could be taking the whole situation even worse than I am not like putting things in that perspective helps anything but I feel better just putting that bit out there. I am not 100% selfish; but I am more than I would like to be. If I had a better understanding on my family’s money situation this might not have come as so much of a shock. My family is not poor with three kids and two houses but we are far from rich. I’d always assumed I was part of the upper middle class but today as my mom sat at the computer with a calculator and the checkbook in hand explaining this year would be a stretch and the next two after that impossible. It made me want to cry. The combination of probably losing my dream school and seeing my mom like this was too much. Parents the good ones at least work the majority of their life to give their children what they need, to give them more than what they have and I have good parents. Seeing my mom talk to me like this hurts her in very different but equally painful way.

I need to get away from her and this and the thought that I may have nearly bankrupt them from my one year of learning and loving every moment of it. My escape is to go to the beach house get away from the computers that are reporting black and white digital images informing me of the astronomically high costs to get an education. I want to sleep in the car ride down to ease my mind the radio is on  my eyes are closed but my mind refuses to go silent. Dad is too focused on driving in the dark busy traffic and my brother is too young to understand. I am selfish and greedy but I need to return and see my true home the place where I learned not just about the planet but who my real friends are and how strong I am and so many things that I take for granted that are there and no place else.

If I could take a year off and do community college while working I could save thousands but mother shot that down immediately I don’t have a car or a guarantee that the credits will transfer and there are not many jobs that will even make me much money minimum wage only goes so far and that is only about as far as I can run. I won’t be able to go on the treadmills I have become so familiar with or preform with my a Capella troop again. The music returns from a comitial break to the song pompii and that is the last string the tears come out of both eyes hard and heavy because if I close my eyes it does not feel like nothing has changed I know it’s never going to be the same even if I go back by taking out loans I will have a bolder on my shoulders that restrains the rest of my life. I don’t think I can be an optimist or even have an optimistic outlook on this because the pessimistic aspects are so much larger and clearer. The tears are not enough I let out a sob which still does not make me feel any better but it is something that is instinctual not voluntary.

“What’s wrong sissy?”

I sniffle in a deep breath from my noes before responding “Nothing baby, I am just scared by what the future holds.”

“Why?” he asks so innocent that is what you have in youth; innocence and it is lost to grief that comes with age.

What can I say? I thought I had a plan and now I do not; or we don’t have enough money or the cold truth that I will not be going to school so instead of having three years to finish figuring out what I want to do and get paid for it I have no time at all and without a college degree I have basically no career choices only a few employment options. “You don’t need to know why it’s an adult thing.”

“But you’re not an adult your just my big sister.”

It’s true but none the less changes nothing. What I will have to remember is that things happen for a reason and I will have to try my hardest to save up money or borrow enough to get the degree I need for my life to go as planned.

In the fall I am greeting customers at a chain restaurant my days feeling full to the brim but meaningless as a whole. I work all the time and save all I make so I can return next year, this is temporary but when you really think about it everything you do in your short life is temporary so make the best of everything you won’t have it forever.

me and George a co worker that was not in the last photo I hope we both come back next summer and have a wonderful year in between
me and George a co worker that was not in the last photo I hope we both come back next summer and have a wonderful year in between