Freedom Post

This week has been far less eventful than the last one which I am very happy to report. By far the most interesting thing I did was go to the Morrow Memorial Church Turnover sale and buy a ton of stuff for under $50. Here is a picture of the clothing I got. (2 pairs of boots, 2 dresses, 6 shirts, four pairs of shorts, 3 skirts, yarn a back pack, britta filter, shower curtain, a towel and some junky jewelry)

 

Let me just apologize in advanced about any glitchyness on this post because wordpress looks different from my end there has been an update so I am going to try to do this in the way that will best work for me and look correct for you the wonderful reader.

I am loving the book I am reading the second Divergent book Insergent but I think that is because I miss reading so the book could be anything.

I signed up to do camp Nano but do not think I will be seriously competing this month thought it would be wonderful to have Collin and Jade get wrapped up this summer so I can be ready for the next novel in November. (Miranda I want to thank you in advanced for agreeing to live with me, November is going to be a crazy time for both of us but mostly me who may just make your life a little hectic.) 

 

This week The bulk of the post is going to be deadicated to tomorrow Fourth of July, this is a short story in two parts so here is part one part two will be coming out next week. Freeda for Life. a working title. 

This year’s Fourth of July that is going to be better than any one that I have ever experienced before. For starters Independence Day is my favorite holiday, for a variety of reasons mainly being that it is the eve of my birthday and it is a day of excitement for not just me but an entire country. There are fireworks and the whole day is just a summertime celebration. When I was younger I liked to believe that the fireworks were for me like some sort of early birthday gift given to me by the town. Like I was so important that I got two days of party back to back the first one had red white and blue decoration and the second day leaving up only the red décor that I like the most. There are sparklers and glow sticks and the best family barbeques all around town-though I can only confirm the barbeques held in my back yard to be especially wonderful. The back yard is big with my father on a Forman grill and so much grilled food it leaves me feeling like a glutton. I eat so much food the burgers, corn and shishcabob that by dessert I feel too full to take another bite but the indulgence is part of what makes the day so spectacular.

The problem is that as we grow older it becomes harder and harder to be impressed. Almost all of the wonder leaves the world and is replaced with logic and hardship of reality and adult responsibilities. For me it feels like the raw amazement in everything was removed the year that New Jersey made fireworks and sparklers illegal. I was eight and now in just a few days’ time I will be turning eighteen and the sad thing is that in the last ten years I feel like I have lost almost all of my happiness. The little girl in pictures physically resembles me but that person has a whole different spirit than the current me who holds those polaroid photographs longing to be more like the free little girl grinning face up eyes closed in the sand at the beach off route 35. The bottom white stub of my favorite picture has the words “Freda summer 2004” in my mother’s black scrapbooking gel pen.

I have asked my mom what makes me so different from her the perfect pale skinned dark haired angle that has a glowing smile and not a care in the world. I never like her response “Freda you know what happened, you opened your eyes in search for the truth; and the answers you found made the light in your get used up on illuminating the bad in the world. So much is beyond your ability to control but by learning you grew up and turned out to be a charming young lady.” And over the years young lady became young women and more than anything I wish I could have kept my eyes closed to the less desirable parts of the planet that I was blessed enough to land on.

Like I was saying before I got sidetracked by my baby pictures and walk down memory lane I am almost eighteen, that magical year that is supposed to open so many doors. The legal jumping point into full on adult, even though the drinking age is twenty one and you are really only one day wiser than you were at seventeen there is supposed to be some profound difference but I don’t really think that there is. So this year is technically my last childhood Fourth of July, I want it to be the best one ever, the only problem is that accomplishing such a feet is going to be nearly impossible.

I know my sister has planned out as much as she can to make this more than just a red white and blue day to remember. We had to cross state lines to buy fireworks and sparklers it was a fun day trip. The sort of daycation that makes me glad to have an older sister with a jeep. I don’t have a car and that is largely because I do not want one, it is so expensive and seems to be more of a hustle than it is worth so I do not even have my license. I will get a DMV issued identification card so I will be able to prove I am an adult, it looks just like a license but it does not allow me to drive.  Some kids may want to buy cigarettes or lotto tickets on their birthday but I want to light off a few sparklers and have fun watching the light distract me from all the light pollution that there is in the world and see something so simple as beautiful instead of dumbing. With each spark running away to its short coming death I will be able to smile at the beautiful fun toy do its thing.

At the supermarket on the third the parking lot is so cull me and Stacey have to drive around for then minutes looking for a spot and the one we finally get is not even close to the entrance. Dad sent us to pick up the fruit and other supplies that he needs for tomorrow. So we start by finding watermelon, the good ones of them go leaving only the bruised sad fruit behind. After that we get little patriotic squires for shishcabob, a package of black bean veggie burgers for the off chance that one of the relitives has decided to stop eating animals. And finally cupcakes two dozen half chocolate have vanilla ll topped with swirling red white and blue icing and a little ring with a waving flag.

When I go to sleep I feel pretty good about the next days to come, my childish room right above the dining room that is decorated with red cray paper for the double days of celebration. I love going to sleep on the third it leaves me feeling so hopeful for the days to come.  I drift off into a sleep smiling and wake up with the same smile still on my face.

The first thing I say to myself on the morning of the fourth, still lying in bed, “It’s gonna be a good day!”

So next week I will give you the rest of this story the good part, the part about the days we celebrate. Till then feel free to comment or not, keep reading and stay safe, and wonderful as always.

 

The picture that should be here is me and Dienie at the library she is one of my best friends sister and all three of us me Dienie and her sister Elsie work on the boardwalk. 

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