Monthly Archives: April 2014

Nailed April

So this is the regularly scheduled Wednesday blog post it’s crazy how much i have to say though, with April ending and classes ended this is the first of the reading days but it’s like the snow day effect i never have class today so this does not feel special. i might have a bonus post just because i have so much to say or i may have to push back the short story about stranger. my freshman year is almost all over and it went too fast.

If you were wondering about camp nano well i didn’t write for 16 days in a row because i needed to focus on school so at this point in time for me to win I would have to write 16700 words today before midnight. i don’t think that is humanly possible even if the words were not contributing to the story. I don’t know where it is going i sort of wrote myself into a whole which is spiraling deeper and deeper away from the original end point. i’ll figure it out, fix it up over the summer. I have to ask do you even want me to keep putting up chapters of Collin and Jade? I have gotten absolutely no feed back and I have a hard time putting my work online at all so to do it I want to know that at least one person is reading it and likes it. (When I was reading Julia’s story i devoured it waiting for the next chapter rather impatiently.) my goal for today is 6700 words, a lot but possible if i get in the zone and just write.

Enough about me for now on to the nail art

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So these are my muppets nails i was suposed to see the new movie with my friends

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But instead we decided to see Noah, it was a good movie

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I love this Octopus, i did it from a pin  i saw and because #narratube has a squid

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I had a few ideas for camp nano so i did both hands differently

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I am so happy with how this turned out in real life, it’s not a very good picture but dream catcher and feathers

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This was to match my sorority’s  formal dress

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The TV show Awkward that i binged through in a few days when i was really stressed. if you have ever thought about watching you should it’s a great MTV program. i love the mini band-aid i thought it was a nice touch

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This is  a splatter paint effect but I like the way it looks space-y

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I did this for initiation into the sorority you cant see it but they are matt with gloss tips

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when i got into Sigma Alpha i did this for my first official sisterhood event

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Easter nails

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Plain and simple french mani

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Evan Peters from American Horror Story came to my school and did a Q&A so fro $10 i went to see him and did my nails for it

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There was a movie showing of the Lorax for earth day me and the studie buddies from last semester went and cuddled on the quad because it was a cold night but a good movie

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And currently i have this on my hands, it’s a new silver and i outlined with black for a cool space age look.

So as you may have noticed i did a lot of nail art this month, it was a stressful one. if you want to know how i did any of them please comment below thanks for reading!

 

Shout Out to Stranger

So this is obviously a bonus post because today is not Wednesday, I know it is a bit late for me to be blogging but I have a bunch to say that does not fit into the format of the post I have for the last week of the month and i will be giving him a full on post first week of may but for right now here is a picture of stranger, the boy who made my day. If you are out there reading this please leave a comment i think you’re pretty cool and would love to have contact with you. 

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Closest thing to love (short story)

last week was a bit ruff but ever since Friday after the chem practical i have been doing really well. i bought awkward season 1+2 on DVD binge watched the whole show and loved it, i also knit a second strawberry hat as a gift for a friend. the man repairs things in my building came today and unclogged the shower so it should drain now. school is coming close to an end this is the last week of classes before finals and then i go home. i am not excited for that because i love school URI is my home while New Jersey is really just the place i grew up. 

the weekend was spent binge watching, shopping on Saturday and having an Easter day with my roommates and Craig with painted hard boil eggs, an egg hunt filled with white chocolate (because i do not eat regular chocolate) and pistachios. it was a really fun day with good friends and even better food. 

so i have a short story that i wrote last night inspired by a question my roommate Abbie asked me. while writing it i was thinking of one person but as i continued i realized this related to tons of people i know so if you feel like i am in part talking to you i probably was. 

closest thing to love

It’s weird to think of falling in love as an action that you have any say in. I mean I guess it’s like falling there are ways you can make yourself do it but the point is for the action to occur on its own unprovoked. I don’t think I have ever been in love, not for real. I have loved things like nail polish and grapefruit. I have said that I love people like my cousin and roommates and really close friends. But at the end of it all the closest I have ever been to being in love was with a guy I never dated.

 We were best friends for two years, every time we could see each outer there was no hesitation to do so. I loved the way he smelled like cut grass from the soccer fields or the salt water from the beach and even the least appealing of his smells, after shower body wash and way too much axe cologne. We could and did talk for hours in person and on the phone, it didn’t really matter what we said just that it was being heard by the other person. A five minute drive to Costco became a half hour conversation about the simple drive down the street, each scenery detail incorporated to make me feel involved; to make me feel like I was part of his life, even if I was not a physical presence to him at every moment.

 I loved that boy solidly for over two years, but my affectionate pull to him was shared by almost every girl he came in contact with. He was like a single fluorine atom highly reactive looking for one more electron to stabilize his configuration. I told myself that he was popular (because he was) and that I was important to him (and believed it). I was important but only up to the point of being useful in his eyes. I was someone to talk to and snuggle with and fawn over him but I was deep into the “friend-zone” (for lack of a better word.) and I had landed there by myself. Every time I idol-y stood by and gave a hug when I wanted a kiss or let him fall asleep in my lap while watching a transformer movie (that he picked out) and then not following up with some sure fire sign of how I felt as soon as the lights turned on. I was timid and scared to ruin the by far best friendship and possibly relationship I have ever had over telling him my feelings or worse have him not reciprocate my feeling stringing me along making me feel like an idiot for believing the lies I told myself that there was a chance I was important to him.

 I changed for him, not all at once it was a slow decent into becoming more like him to have another thing to relate to because he was the person I wanted to be with and the more we had in common the merrier. I was willing to loose myself in his music and books and activities like touch football. I thought if I went along without him asking I would be the thought in the forefront of his mind whenever he thought of a cool girl or who to text when he got bored; or that he may be building up the courage to tackle me and confess his emotions but he just was waiting for the right time, some proof that I was worthy of his perfection.

But I couldn’t keep up with the other girls who thought they loved him as much or more than I did. I lost him to one of those girls, the kind that takes what she wants. The girl that puts out first, getting to know a guy second; taking him off the market as fast as she can. That girl disgusted me Him and her was a sickening thing for me I could not handle it and he could not handle me being jealous so that was the end of my friendship and the very possible first true love of my life. But how was I to stand by and listen to him my Mr. Perfect talk about another girl fulfilling his sexual pleasures when I wanted him to need me for that but I knew I was not ready, I was only fourteen and she was a year younger. Now four years have passed and I realize many things from all this. like we don’t even talk anymore and my life was fine without the wonderfully spoken long winded chats. I am glad to have had that beautiful friendship and that I didn’t make it into something more, into something I would have regretted. I have become a bolder girl which I am proud of but I have not become a shameful girl with more regrets than standards. I am a girl who has been bruised but never severely damaged, a girl who likes to watch her crush from a distance. Until I need the relationship at which point things tend not to work out. If you are sending me signs and I picked up on them then I magnify for better or worse, until I get better at reading others and understanding myself I may not be ready for love. So for now I have nail polish and shoes.

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these are the new shoes and one of the pairs of earrings i got over the weekend. 

#NarraTube

So this video is for a friend of a friend’s project for school it’s really cool and if it sounds cool to you sign up. i am the sixth person to do this so you should probally watch all the narratubes before me but that only takes about 15 minutes. the project is a story told by many and continued on for weeks check out all the rules and past posts on this site

http://narratube.weebly.com/
Now for my weekly me update. this was a ruff week with little sleep because it is the last wave of exams before finals so i had two yesterday and one today as well as a practical final on Friday. i thought i did poorly on two thirds of what i have so far done but the first grade back is a 78 in bio not good but the best i have had so far so i really can not complain too much.
A quick note on crying only do it if you will feel better afterwards, i need to keep that in mind i know that i want to live with the fewest spilt tears possible.
Be greatful for the little things, like a rain storm that you get stuck in because sometimes the world is telling you something and if you are not paying attention you may miss it
And one last quirky thing if the person who has chem lab after me is reading this you really need to stop saying i steal test tubes i don’t and having to pay a $1.68 fine in order to lift a hold on my fall classes that was just annoying.
All in all there is nothing you can do about the past so try to keep positive about the future if things are not so good there is a good chance they will be getting better.
To anyone in my life who i hurt this week or any other week i am sorry
And to anyone in my life who made me smile Thank you. you are the best.

This is my 20th post so Thank you for reading i had the most views ever last week it makes me want to keep blogging. please leave comments so i know who is reading they make my day shine a billion times brighter. 🙂 ❤ you guys

Decisions

 

So this week I had to make a lot of decisions or at least I had expected to but in the end I had no choices because all of my things were decided for me. I was torn between living with my best friend who I met on the quidditch team next year or being an RA but I didn’t get the RA job. I was not very happy with my boyfriend (of about a month) so I was thinking I wanted to try to fix it give us another week or two but he broke up with me. It was almost mutual we just wanted different things so he broke up with me for the same but opposite reasons I would have broken up with him. I am hoping to stay friends but there is very little chance that that will happen.

Because I have not been able to decide what to do with my life I decided to knit, I know from experience that I can not knit my problems away but I can sure try. I made a tomato hat in two days, I’ve also watched a lot of Netflix but when I need to be productive I go to the library and sit at a table all alone on the third floor (silent floor), this seems to be the only productive work place for me right now. I spent three hours here on Monday doing my writing and film HW today I am working on Chem and nano hopefully I am about 6000 words behind. Because I have no classes today I want to do a 5000 word sprint it would get me almost back on track. I am going to jump the gun and give a shout out to Wade for being willing to coach me through camp nano and cheer me and make me write.

I need to give my camp nano cabin a shout out half of you guys are amazing thank you for writing and being in my life even if only for a little while it means a lot to me.

My amazing roommate Courtney deserves a shout out for helping me with chem last night and comforting me when I needed it. I don’t always show it but I am very grateful to have such amazing friends and roommates my life would be miserable without the people in my life.

I really do not have any thing for this week so it’s just a little me update.

Side note I am getting really excited for BookCon less than 2 months away.

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i cant get a good pic but thank you Abbie for doing amazing henna on my shoulder/back it rocks just like you.

I can not say it enough I love my roommates ❤ court and abbs. it’ll be exciting inviting Miranda into our family next year.

Camp NaNo

so this weekend i got really sick i most likely won’t talk about that again still recovering, i also for a few days ran out of candy crush levels but today there was an update so i have 28 more (i already beat 2)

Not much to say about me but as promised last week i will be doing a quick write up on Nanowrimo/ camp nano.

Basically NaNoWriMo is national novel writing month in which thousands of people world wide sit down at their computers and commit to trying to writ 50000 words of a novel in the month of November. this was my second year participating in that and the first for completing the word count requirement. 

As for camp nano it is the same concept but at a spring or summer, i never have done the summer one but spring is fun. there is less of a difficulty level in camp because it is set your own goal within 10K-100K words in the month. my current goal is 35000. i am hoping to finish the story i started to write in November. the thing is anyone can write but the hard thing is how do you start and with out a deadline how do you keep motivated. so nano is here to make your dead line and that is enough to keep me writing. 

A cool thing about camp is we are put into digital cabins where we get to interact with other writers who become our friends and support group if they ever decide to update their word count and communicate on the forum.

it is not too late to start and loads of fun so if you were thinking i like writing maybe next year don’t there is no penalty for failing. and winning means you get a goody bag and bragging writes, it’s all online and free so do it here’s a link to http://campnanowrimo.org/

if i forgot anything that is important you have to realize there is far more pressing writing for me to do right now. if you have questions please leave them as comments i would be happy to answer them and amend the post if needed. to me the whole nano thing seems natural but to someone who has never heard of it it can be overwhelming. 

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                                        A book better than anything i will ever write in my lifetime. but i can dream